Where Toads Could Be Vampires
by pasmosa
Summary: Sirius wants to cheer up James. James wants to kiss Lily. Lily wants to murder Remus. And Remus just wants the marauders to leave his girlfriend alone. Unlikely as these things may seem...in a world where toads could be vampires, anything is possible.
1. Plot

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. I simply revere JK Rowling, the goddess who invented it all.**

**Many thanks to my beta, Mrs. Padfoot, and my Brit-picker, Elizastarbeth. You're both completely awesome!**

Chapter 1: Plot

_Wednesday, 1 September 1976_

The little red sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room witnesses a great deal of life going on around it. Sweethearts linger, curled up on the worn, velvety cushions. Friends confess their deepest, darkest secrets in front of the hot fire. Even troublemakers put their heads together behind the tall red back to plot every imaginable sort of mischief.

All of them, as various as they are, have one great commonality. They are growing up. Physically and emotionally, quickly and slowly, steadily and in great bursts, they are all growing up, and that is never an easy business.

Take this young man for example – this sixth-year with a mop of untidy black hair and a dejected look about him who has just strewn himself across the length of the red sofa, his skinny legs dangling over the armrest. It is only the first of September, his first night at Hogwarts after the summer holidays, and he already looks as if he is ready to take the train back home, defeated. He drags his glasses over his nose and leaves them haphazardly on his chest while he rubs his face, digging his fingers into his eyes and stretching his skin taught before he buries his hands into his hair. This young man is James Potter, and defeat is not at all his usual style.

Another young man appears. He drops to his hands and knees and, flipping onto his back, stretches out on the matted bearskin rug, crossing his ankles and positioning his hands behind his head to bask in the warmth of the fire. His collar is loosened and, shaking his head, he flips a lock of dark hair away from his face before he settles in for his evening of leisure.

Against the hearth, a third boy curls up, drawing a napkin-wrapped bundle from under his robes. He sniffs it with his pointed nose and his eyes sparkle as he sets it down on the hearthstone.

"Budge up, Prongs." Someone pushes James' legs from the armrest. He clutches his glasses to his chest and sits up to make room on the red sofa. This last young man, with an ugly scar trailing down the side of his neck, sports a fantastic grin that lights up the room. He sits back, crossing an ankle over his knee like he owns the place, while James slouches into the cushions and shoves his glasses back onto his nose.

These four boys, friends bound together in loyalty to each other and in love for all things mischievous, have gathered around this red sofa, where they have lived and grown together for five full years.

Remus, the smiling one, is leaning forward; he wheedles a biscuit away from Peter's stash in the napkin. Sirius intercepts it and Peter grimaces; he hands over another. They can always get more from the kitchens, as Sirius reminds Peter – dozens more, if he likes.

As they embark on their sixth year, the red sofa will witness their lessons, will cradle them in their times of sorrow and in times of laughter. The red sofa will sponsor merciless teasing and heart-to-heart talks. Above all, it will always be there, unnoticed, depended upon. Such is the manner of life.

"You're blocking the fire, Wormtail." Sirius waved his friend further to the side of the hearth and re-crossed his ankles. Peter shook the biscuit crumbs from his empty napkin and scooted to the side where he leaned back against the masonry to observe his friends. Even while Remus chewed his biscuit, he couldn't stop smiling.

"What's Moony so happy about?" Peter asked.

Sirius chuckled low in his throat. "Were you so busy nicking those biscuits that you didn't notice Margie Lufkin chatting him up after the feast? I swear I thought she was about to grab him and snog him right there in the Great Hall."

Nodding his head, Remus' smile grew even larger. "That would have been very interesting."

"Margie's a nice girl," Peter said.

"And she's grown a lot over the summer," Sirius added, "if you know what I mean."

He winked at him and stuffed the remainder of his biscuit into his mouth, while Peter, with a loud snort, snickered and choked on a crumb.

Remus gave them a half-hearted eye-roll. "I think I'll take her to Hogsmeade soon," he told them.

Once Peter cleared his throat, he wrinkled his nose in concern. "I thought you said the first Hogsmeade weekend was on a full moon."

"Who said anything about waiting for the Hogsmeade weekend?"

"That's what secret passages are for," Sirius explained.

"Oh, yeah."

Remus went on. "We could go this weekend, before there's too many assignments piled up. She hates to get behind in her work."

Sirius closed his eyes and loosened his tie a bit more. "Feeling pretty confident there, eh Moony?"

"Margie and I owled a lot over the summer."

"Sounds like Moony's found himself a little girlfriend."

"Maybe."

"Just go for it," Sirius encouraged. "She obviously fancies you."

"She obviously hates me," James spat out.

The boys stopped to look at him in confusion.

Peter knit his brows together and leaned forward. "You don't think she's still mad about the time you put those pickled Horklumps in her pocket? Sure they made her stink for two weeks, but we were only twelve years old."

"Don't be a moron," Sirius chided. "Prongs isn't talking about Margie. He's on about Lily again. Try to stay with the program, will you?"

"What's the deal with you and Lily?" Remus asked James.

"Nothing except that she hates my guts."

"Nah, she doesn't," Sirius told him.

"She does." James was sure of it. "Did you see how she wouldn't even look at me at the feast tonight?" He'd tried everything short of a strip tease to get her attention.

"She was busy catching up with her friends," Remus said.

"And what am I? Chopped rat spleen?"

"Owww." Peter clutched his right side dramatically.

"Your spleen is on the other side, Wormtail," Remus told him.

"Oh." He switched sides to try again. "Owww."

"That doesn't mean she hates you," Sirius said, ignoring Peter entirely.

"She didn't answer any of my letters over the summer." Not one out of eight. "I may as well have sent them to the Bermuda Lethifold."

"I wish you would have," Sirius told him. "You wouldn't have sulked as much."

"Maybe she was busy visiting a bunch of crazy aunts or something," Peter suggested. "I know I was."

James pressed back into the cushion and rubbed his eyes again. "She's never ignored my letters before."

"You two did have that rather humiliating fight last June," Remus said.

James grimaced at the reminder. He'd been trying to stop thinking about it for two whole months. "I can't believe that she's not over that by now."

"Girls are weird," Sirius said.

Remus leaned back next to James. "We just need to make her see reason."

Sirius shook his head. "Girls can't see reason. It's physically impossible."

"Really?" Peter asked.

Dropping his hands into his lap, James breathed out a tremendous sigh – a sigh borne of many weeks' frustration and disappointment. Lily had never liked him the way he wished she would. She'd never looked at him as anything more than a friend. And the more attention he paid her, the more she pushed him away. What was wrong with her? Was it really that hard for girls to be reasonable? "I'm beginning to think so."

Sirius rolled onto his belly and propped himself up on his elbows to look at Remus. "If she could just realise how depressing Prongs is when he's like this," he said, "then she'd have to date him out of compassion for us."

"Ha. Ha."

At least Remus seemed to take James' problems seriously. "Try talking to her about it," he told him. "It's not like she's going to hex you. Apologies go along way with girls."

James massaged his eyes under his glasses and groaned. "How am I supposed to apologise if she won't talk to me?"

Sirius sat up on the dark rug and faced him. "She doesn't have to do any talking. You do. Just corner her somewhere."

He could just imagine trying to manage that conversation with her twittering friends latched to her elbows. "She's always bottled up in that pack of girls – with Jane and Karen." Talk about supreme embarrassment.

Sirius waved the argument away. "Let us take care of the other girls."

"Yeah," Peter added. "What do you think your fellow marauders are for?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"It's going to depend on what our timetables look like, but I've got an idea." Sirius, with an excited gleam in his eye, sat up on his heels and leaned forward conspiratorially. Behind him, Peter crawled up to listen to the increasingly hushed voice.

"Right after the last class tomorrow," Sirius began, "Wormtail and I will catch up to the girls and offer, real gallant-like, to walk them to dinner."

"What if they aren't coming out of the same lesson?" Peter asked.

"Then I'll take Jane and you'll take Karen."

Using Pete for girl-charming duty was entirely non-standard procedure. "Why doesn't Moony take Karen?"

"Because while we've got the girls occupied, Moony comes up and tells Lily that he needs to show her some Prefect thing."

"A Prefect thing?" Remus, leaning in, with his elbow perched on his knee, had a sceptical look on his face.

"Yeah. You know. A Prefect thing. You've got all day to think up something good."

James was the last one to lean in to the huddle forming around him. "Where do I come in?"

Licking his lips, Sirius grinned broadly. "Moony takes Lily to that empty classroom on the ground floor."

"The one where we stashed those cases of Frog Spawn Soap last year?" Peter asked.

"Right. And Prongs is waiting for her. Moony locks her in, and she's cornered for a pretty little chat. Next thing you know," he said to James, "you're snogging her brains out." He leaned back on his heels, radiating admiration of his plan.

"How are we going to find out their last classes if our house isn't all together?" Remus asked.

"Easy. We'll sit with them at breakfast, flirt a whole lot, get them giggling. They'll be blabbing like pixies by the time McGonagall hands out the timetables."

There was one major problem with that plan. "If Lily isn't talking to me," James said, "she isn't going to giggle if I flirt with her, and if she did, I wouldn't need a big strategy like this."

That didn't seem to faze Sirius in the least. "So don't come to breakfast. Just eat in the kitchen and avoid her all day. We want to make sure you don't accidentally tick her off any more before the big lock-in."

"But I was going to try to get a seat next to her in Herbology. She's always in a good mood in Herbology, and Sprout usually makes a seating plan on the first day." James couldn't think of anything better than a whole term sitting next to a happy Lily – it would be heaven at Hogwarts.

Sirius let out a puff of breath and leaned back, to rub his chin. "Good idea Prongs, but that puts a whole new spin on the problem."

"Maybe we won't have Herbology on the first day," Peter said.

"Crud. I wish we had the schedules," Sirius said. "Do you think McGonagall would mind if we crashed her office to sneak a look at them tonight?"

That particular suggestion was entirely ignored by Remus. "We'll have to work out the Herbology thing anyway," he said, "so we may as well integrate it into Operation Lock-In. Sort of a plan B."

Sirius stayed right with him. "We would have to make sure Jane and Karen get seated together, so it won't look too suspicious."

"If Lily's the odd one out," Peter added, "James can jump in next to her before Sprout comes around to record the seating plan."

James shook his head. "Lily won't sit still for that if she has time to switch with somebody."

"Okay, listen." Sirius had it all worked out. "Moony will ask her to be his partner at first, and then, at the last possible second, he'll switch places with James."

Remus groaned. "Lily is going to kill me."

And she would too. "I'll save you a place by Margie, if you want." James was going to owe Remus big time.

"If we can pull off Operation Herbology Partner," Remus said, "we may not even need Operation Lock-In."

James didn't believe he could ever be so lucky. "That's assuming we even have Herbology tomorrow."

"Even if we do," Sirius added, "after the cold shoulder Lily was dishing out to James over dinner, I'd say we'll need both operations plus a major dose of good luck."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Padfoot."

Sirius reached up and clapped James on the back. "This'll work great. Just you wait and see."

_Author's End Note: How do you like my characterization of the marauders so far? Did the change in tense after the introduction feel smooth, or was it confusing? Were any parts funny to you? Please review!_

_Please note that, as the narrator of this story is actually the red couch itself, the setting will be firmly restricted throughout the whole story. This is intended to keep the focus on the emotional growth of the characters, and on how their individual behaviours are all subtly intertwined, rather than on the events themselves. Important details that happen away from the couch will be related as needed through conversations amongst the characters. I've had a lot of fun with this little story. I hope you like it._

_For review responses and additional commentary, please visit my Live Journal. The link is on my author page, or you can enter: pasmosa dot livejournal dot com._


	2. Creep

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. I simply revere JK Rowling, the goddess who invented it all. **

_Many thanks to my beta, MrsPadfoot, and my Brit-picker, Elizastarbeth. You're both completely awesome! _

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading. For detailed review responses and additional commentary, please visit my Live Journal. The link is on my author page, or you can enter: pasmosa dot livejournal dot com. _

Chapter 2: Creep

_Thursday, 2 September 1976_

James and his friends are certainly not the only students who enjoy the red sofa. Even now, three girls are nestled hip to hip between the armrests, slouched down so that not even the crowns of their heads can be seen from behind. Black bags, fat with books, parchment and long homework lists, are piled up on the bearskin rug, forgotten. Not everything in life is so easily set aside.

"Remus Lupin is so dead." At one end of the sofa, a girl with carrot-red hair, and skin plastered with freckles, clutches a gold cushion to her chest. She kicks out her legs and sucks her lips between her teeth, clearly agitated.

"Alright, Lily. Spill it. We didn't wolf down our dinner like third year boys just to come up and watch you pout."

This impatient girl – the one with the silky dark hair and the stern look around her mouth – is doing a poor job of hiding her curiosity. Her friend, Jane, sandwiched between the other girls, makes no pretence; she bubbles over with anticipation for Lily's story.

Sixteen-year-old girls are such fascinating creatures, and these young witches are no exception. With rapidly changing moods, from ecstatic giggles to misery and tears in minutes, with their peculiar fashions and intricate social games, with their tenderness and their surprising courage, they can keep the most indifferent observer's attention riveted. Is it any wonder that young men are so entranced?

Karen reaches across Jane and drags the gold cushion from Lily's arms, only to aggravate her further. She takes a deep breath, crosses her freckled arms over her chest.

It was only a few moments ago that Lily rushed to the red sofa, in a hurry to lay her troubles out before her closest confidants. But real troubles, the kind that help you grow, are not always so easy to articulate, as Lily is finding out for herself.

"What was that Prefect thing he wanted to talk to you about? It sounded kind of fishy to me."

"Remus didn't have any 'Prefect thing' for me. He took me down to this old class room that stank like a swamp and locked me in with James Potter."

Jane threw her hands over her mouth and shrieked, dissolving into giggles. Next to her, Karen let her jaw fall open as she stared. "You have got to be joking."

"Nope. I learned my lesson – I am never believing anything Remus says ever again."

"Is that why Sirius and Peter were being so corny after Potions," Karen asked, "wanting to carry our bags and everything?"

"They were trying to distract us." Jane looked offended at the very idea.

Karen was irritated too, and she scowled, knitting her eyebrows together and sitting up stiffly. "You know James put them up to it," she said.

"Of course he did." Lily slouched even further in her seat.

Offended as Jane was, she would not be put off from the real story. "So what happened with James?"

"I've agreed to start acknowledging his existence again."

"Good." She nodded and grinned. "I hate seeing anybody get the silent treatment."

"Except maybe a few Slytherins," Karen said.

Jane ignored that. "So you and James are friends again?"

Fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, Lily chewed her lip. "I don't know about all that," she said at last, "but I'm talking to him again."

"What did he say to you?"

"He started off about how he was sorry for upsetting me and how he missed me over the summer. I guess I really hurt his feelings when I burned all of his letters."

"I think you should give him a chance," Jane said. "It's not like he's ugly or anything."

Karen huffed. "As if that's all it's about."

Both girls gave her odd looks.

"Would you want to go out with a troll?" Jane asked.

"I try to judge by what people look like on the inside."

"Oh, whatever," Lily said. "You wouldn't go out with Charlie Peakes, and he's the nicest boy ever. You just couldn't stand the thought of kissing all those pimples."

"James does have nice skin," Jane added.

Lily rolled her eyes. "And his hair is like a bush."

"He's got a nice smile though. Don't you think, Lily?"

"He's okay looking," she admitted.

"Don't tell James that," Karen said. "He'd be disappointed. He thinks he's drop dead gorgeous."

"Don't forget talented." Lily flipped her hair over and lowered her voice like a boy's. "Did you see me score those fifteen goals at the match last weekend? I could have doubled it, but I didn't want to make the Hufflepuffs too embarrassed. Don't want them to be too easy a target for the Slytherins, you know."

The girls giggled. "Ruffle your hair a little more," Jane suggested, "and puff out your chest. There you go."

"Did I ever tell you about the time I tricked Pringle into searching Snape for dungbombs? It was classic." Lily ruffled her hair a few more times and swaggered in her seat. "Wanna see me conjure a Quaffle? We don't start conjuring until next year, but I can already conjure all kinds of things."

"He's just trying to get you to notice him."

"I can't help but notice him. He's always in my face trying to show off. I wish he'd conjure some good sense."

"Boys are immune from sense," Karen said. "They can't get it."

"But he's so embarrassing." Lily moaned and slouched into the cushions again. "I feel so bad every time he makes me reject him."

"Technically," Jane pointed out, "he isn't aiming to get you to reject him."

"But I don't want to go out with him, and I get so humiliated."

"You shouldn't be embarrassed about doing what you know is right," Karen told her.

"Whenever he asks me out, or tries to do romantic stuff, he can be so sweet about it. He makes me feel bad."

"Sweet?" Karen sat up in her seat and leaned forward to look at Lily. "Sweet? Are you kidding? Remember when he tried to bribe you into going out with him in exchange for not bullying Snape? He was such a jerk!"

"Of course I remember. I was the laughing stock of the whole school."

"Not the whole school. We didn't laugh at you." Jane hugged Lily tightly. "But you're right, Lily." She sat back and patted Lily's hand. "James can be sweet when he tries. Like that time he kept slipping flowers into your bag between lessons. You had that whole beautiful bouquet by the end of the day."

"And then," Karen added, "on the very same day, he turned around and bragged about filling the Slytherin showers with Frog Spawn Soap. All those poor kids smelled horrible for ages."

That got Lily frowning again. "It might have been slightly amusing, what with the baby frogs jumping around after them, but then he had to go and hex them all on the excuse that they kept stinking up the corridors. Even the first-years."

"That wasn't very nice."

"It was downright mean," Karen said. "And he was so proud to get the credit."

"I don't think James even really gets it. He does that kind of stuff and then he can't understand why I'm not attracted to him."

"Did he hit on you today?" Jane asked.

"I'm not sure."

"Either he did or he didn't, Lily."

"He's stopped trying to pretend that he doesn't fancy me," she explained, "which kind of makes it worse, since he was being all nice about it. But he didn't really mention it outright. He just wanted me to stop being mad at him."

"That's probably part of a big plan to work his way up to getting you to go out with him." Karen tossed the gold cushion back at Lily. "I'd bet he's been plotting with his friends all summer."

Giggling, Jane kicked out her feet. "The boys have probably code named it Operation Snog the Redhead."

Lily coughed and sat up, looking horrified. "How about Operation Snowballs in Hell."

"Operation Pipe Dream," Jane suggested, smiling.

"Or, Operation Make Lily Gag."

"Maybe," Karen said, "it's Operation Get Potter's Head Slapped."

Jane giggled. "Operation Get Over It And Move On With Your Life Potter."

Clutching the cushion tightly under her arms, Lily leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Operation Grow Up Please, James Potter Or We're All Going to Murder You With Rabid Puffskeins."

"Rabid Puffskeins?" Jane looked confused.

"Do Puffskeins have teeth?" Karen asked. "Would it even be possible to get killed by a Puffskein?"

"What are they going to do?" Jane said, giggling. "Fall in the Floo pot and powder puff you to death?"

Lily looked back at her friends. "They do have those long, creepy tongues, and tongues are the strongest muscle in the body, right? Maybe they could strangle somebody with it."

Jane's mouth fell open; she leaned back against Karen – away from Lily. "I can not believe you just said that!"

"Don't tell me you've never been creeped out when Smidge lets her tongue loose around the dormitory at night."

"Her tongue is not creepy!" Jane said. "It's cute and pink!"

"It's creepy," Lily corrected. "And you use her for a pillow. It would be so easy for her to take you out."

Squealing, Jane frantically covered her face. "Don't say that! I'll never be able to sleep near my Puffskein again!"

"Why do you think they aren't allowed at school?"

"If Smidge is so dangerous, why haven't you reported me to McGonagall?"

"I don't rat out my friends," Lily told her. "I'd rather die."

Karen rolled her eyes at the drama. "Even if it's death by Puffskein?"

"That's right."

"You're so weird, Lily," Jane said.

"Next thing you'll be telling us that Mr. Ribbits isn't all toad, but part vampire, who hops along after Snape in the forest during the weekends in search of fresh blood." Karen leaned forward to watch Lily's expression.

"Don't be silly," Lily told her, completely unfazed. "Mr. Ribbits wouldn't have anything to do with a Slytherin, even if he did turn out to be a vampire toad."

Leaning back into her seat, Karen shook her head and laughed. "Toads can't be vampires."

Lily didn't agree. "In a castle where mirrors give you advice, walls pretend to be doors, and where cats are really Transfiguration Professors, anything is possible."

Jane looked over at Lily appraisingly. "Anything at all?"

"Yup."

"Does that mean James has a chance with you?"

The gold cushion suddenly bumped into Jane's mischievous face. "Why'd you have to go and say that?" Lily groaned and slouched as low as she could. "I was actually getting rid of my bad mood. Now I need to be cheered up again. And it's your fault."

"Get over it Lily, I was just joking."

"It's not that easy."

"Okay, I tell you what. If you aren't feeling fine and blooming by the end of our first Herbology lesson tomorrow morning, I will personally take any punishment you deem fit to lay on me."

"Anything?"

Jane nodded seriously. "Anything."

Lily looked over to Karen, who was fighting a maniacal grin.

"I don't think I've ever in my life hoped for a bad Herbology lesson before," Lily said. "I guess there's a first time for everything."

The smug look faded from Jane's face, and her eyes widened in fear. "Oh no. What have I done?"

"Exactly the sort of thing we enjoy, Sweetie." Karen looped an arm around Jane's shoulder. "But don't worry. I won't sabotage Lily's day on purpose. You'll only have to do it if she really is feeling genuinely foul."

"I'll only have to do what?"

_Author's End Note: Did Lily's friends seem believable and natural? Were you able to get a good enough feeling of how Operation Lock-In turned out? Can you imagine the way the boys and girls interact with each other? I hope you can already figure out how well Lily's first Herbology lesson will go (based on chapter one.) Please review! _

_Many thanks to my beta, Mrspadfoot, and my Brit-picker, Elizastarbeth. You're both completely awesome! _

_For detailed review responses and additional commentary, please visit my Live Journal. The link is on my author page, or you can enter: pasmosa dot livejournal dot com. _


	3. Move

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. I simply revere JK Rowling, the goddess who invented it all.**

_Author's Note: Sorry for the long absence. I am back now, and the remaining chapters should be coming regularly, as they are mostly complete. Feel free to visit my live journal (pasmosa dot livejournal dot com ) for additional information._

Chapter 3: Move

_Wednesday, 15 September 1976_

"Hold onto your wands, boys. You're not going to believe this." Remus hurtled over the back of the sofa and landed with a thump next to James.

Next to the fire, Sirius and Peter didn't bother to look up from their game of Exploding Snap. "What's going on?" Sirius asked. "Did Margie offer to bear your children?"

"Not quite yet, but she did have some interesting news."

"Don't tell me." James raised his hands in feigned shock. "She switched nail polish colours. I can't believe it."

"Actually, I think she did, but she told me something else," Remus said. "Seems a few Slytherin thugs attacked Karen, Jane, and Lily."

James jumped up from the sofa, reaching for his wand. "Where are they?" Lily needed rescuing, and there wasn't a moment to lose.

Remus grabbed James' wrist and pulled him back into his seat. "Take it easy big guy. It was last night, and Lily's fine."

"Who did it? Was it Snivellus? I'm gonna kill him." James' only question was how.

"Not this time. It was Regulus, and his slime ball side-kick Mulcibur."

Sirius threw down his hand of cards. It exploded in Peter's face, but Sirius didn't flinch. "I told my creep little brother not to mess with my friends," he said, standing up. "Regulus is going to be sorry once I'm finished with him."

"Will you guys listen to the story before you flip out?"

"What happened, Moony?" Rubbing his singed nose, Peter sat forward in anticipation of the news. "Don't leave anything out."

"Remember that joke Jane did last week in Herbology?" Remus asked.

Peter nodded. "Where she took that fake plant up to Sprout and made a big deal about how it wasn't growing?"

"And then Lily and Karen laughed like hyenas the rest of the lesson?" James added.

"Right. Well, they all three got detention for it."

"The look on Sprout's face was worth a detention, too," Sirius said. He grinned and leaned against the mantle. "I wish we'd thought of it first."

"Anyways…" Remus looked like he was getting impatient with the interruptions, and James encouraged him to continue. "They served their detention last night," he said, "scrubbing up the Bobotuber pus that a bunch of idiot fourth years sprayed all over the glass in the greenhouse. While they were working, Mulcibur and Regulus showed up, roaming around after hours. Old Pringle didn't want the girls using magic to hurry their work along, so he'd confiscated their wands."

"Oh no." James massaged a spot that was beginning to throb on his temple.

"That's what I said. The girls got hexed a couple of times each before Sprout come in and threw a fit. The scumbags have got a week of detentions each, and lost a hundred points for their house."

"So that's what happened." Sirius dropped to his knees on the bearskin rug. "People have been talking about those points all day."

"Are the girls hurt?" James asked.

"You saw them in classes today, didn't you? They had to sleep in the hospital wing, but Pomfrey let them out in time for breakfast."

"I need to go talk to Lily." James started to get up again, but Remus stopped him.

"No you don't. Lily didn't want you to find out. She was afraid you'd do something stupid."

Sirius laughed at that. "Of course he would. He's James Potter."

"How come you get to know?" James asked, feeling more than a little jealous that Remus got to know secrets about Lily instead of him.

"Margie found out in the dormitory," Remus said, "and well, you know how badly she and Lily get along. She was happy to spread the word to her favourite Gryffindor."

"Oh, gag." Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. "Moving on. Please."

"So what are we going to do about Regulus and Mulcibur?" Sitting forward in his seat, James scratched at his scalp. "They are going to have to pay a huge price for that stunt."

"How about we attach them to the Giant Squid with a Permanent Sticking Charm," Sirius suggested.

James didn't like it. "That's too humane."

"I've already got an idea." The boys all looked at Remus, who was trying hard to play it cool while he practically burst at the joints with an exciting idea. "Over the summer," he said, "I managed to obtain a bottle of undiluted Repelling Ointment."

"No way!" A thrilled smile erupted on Sirius' face. "Where it is?"

"Upstairs in my trunk. I've been saving it for a special occasion." Remus crossed one of his ankles over his knee and sat back contentedly.

"What is it again?" Peter asked.

"Repelling Ointment," Remus told him. "You know that stuff they mix in with magical lotions – the kind that keep your hands clean? When it's diluted right, it works like a weak Impervious Charm, except that it lasts a long time."

Sirius's eyes shone like Christmas, Easter and his birthday had all come at once. "But undiluted…imagine the possibilities."

Brilliant. "How did you get it?" James asked.

Shrugging, Remus closed his magazine and folded his hands behind his neck. "Dad took me to a dodgy sort of apothecary last July. He was trying to work out something that he thought might help with…you know…my numerous ailing relatives."

The rest of the boys sat up a little straighter at that. Anything that would help Remus' condition as a Werewolf would be massive news. "Did you find anything good?" Sirius whispered.

"Not really. But Dad felt bad about getting my hopes up, so he got me the Repelling Ointment, as long as I didn't tell Mum."

Peter whistled softly. "Your dad is so cool."

They could very well be looking at the most hilarious stunt in the history of Hogwarts. "Do you think we could include Snivellus in this operation? I'm sure he deserves it for something."

Remus chuckled. "I don't see why not."

"Imagine if we covered him in that stuff," James said.

Remus recoiled immediately. "Just the hands. Please. I have no intention of seeing his pants come flying off again."

"Good call," Sirius said. "James traumatised us enough with that stunt last June."

"Shut-up. You were both laughing your snouts off when it happened." They thought it was funny.

"I still don't want to see it again," Remus told him. Neither did James, come to think of it.

"Alright, so we just treat his hands. And Regulus' and Mulcibur's. Or maybe their arms too, so they can't carry stuff under their elbows."

"Wait a minute." Scooting closer to the sofa, Peter knit his brows together. "If this ointment repels everything, how do you actually get it on anything?"

"The label says there's a three to five minute activation delay after it comes out of the bottle. We'll have to work fast."

"How will we pull it off, though?" James said. "Getting in their showers unnoticed is one thing. Actually touching them is quite another."

Sirius groaned. "Do we have to touch them?"

"How could we get it on them without getting it on ourselves?" Peter looked a little alarmed.

"We could use our dragon hide gloves," Remus suggested.

That wouldn't work. "But then our gloves would be useless."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Not to mention the evidence against us."

"What if we use _their_ dragon hide gloves?"

"That's it!" Peter clapped his hands at James' idea. "We'll have to figure out where they keep them."

"Why don't we use some of the spare sets that Sprout leaves around in the greenhouses?" Sirius said. "They would be easier to find, plus we could get enough for all of us without too much trouble."

"We can borrow the gloves on the way to visit the dungeons," James said, "and then put them back on the way out. Nobody will miss them, and by the time anyone notices the ointment on them, Operation Repelling Gits will already be in full swing."

Pulling his legs out from under him, Sirius rubbed his kneecaps and stretched his feet out in front of him. "When is this operation going down?" he asked.

"I say we do it Monday night." That would give them a few days to prepare over the weekend. "We'll be able to see the effects in class for as long as it lasts. It could work for days."

"This all sounds like brilliant payback," Peter said, "but I'm still not sure how we're going to do it without waking them up."

"We need to pour some Sleeping Draughts down their throats while they're already asleep," Sirius explained. "They'll never even know we've been there."

Remus frowned, and then took the words right out of James' mouth. "Pomfrey's cupboard is locked tighter than Gringotts, though. How are we going to get it?"

"We'll ask her for some."

James laughed. "Oi! Madame Pomfrey, would you mind giving us a few bottles of Sleeping Draught so that we can force it down some nasty Slytherin throats?"

"It might be easier to brew it ourselves," Peter said.

"Just let me take care of it." Sirius waved their objections away. "I promise I'll get the potion in time."

"It's all up to you, Padfoot." James bent over and shook Sirius' hand. "The success of Operation Repelling Gits rests on your shoulders."

"Thank you sir, I won't let you down."

James nodded and sat back on the sofa, leaning heavily against the armrest. "This is going to be great."

"They won't be able to touch anything at all."

"Their assignments won't get done if they can't hold a quill."

"They won't be able to eat properly. I'll bet they have to lean over and eat straight out of their plates like Crups."

"Wait till they need to open a door."

"Or go to the loo!"

"You know," James said, "I'm thinking that this prank might even rival Operation Frog Spawn Shower."

"I don't know." Sirius sounded sceptical. "We'll be famous for that one for centuries."

"Baby frogs were streaming out of their common room for ages," Remus said. "I bet they still have frogs popping out of the drains now and again."

"Remember that one that we charmed to follow Snivellus around?" Sirius asked.

"Oh yeah." Remus laughed fondly over the memory. "If we hadn't given the little guy a massive Shield Charm to go with it, he never would have lasted the day."

A familiar giggle sounded from the other side of the room, and James turned in his seat to look at her. Lily slipped into a chair at the table nearest to the girls' dormitory and bent in for a hushed conversation with Karen.

"Prongs," Sirius said, "what was that curse Snivellus tried on the frog…that one that backfired on him and gave him weepy eyes all day?"

"Huh?"

Lily reached across the table to pat a dejected looking Jane on the shoulder. She was so beautifully compassionate. Maybe she would feel compassion for James, too, if something horrible happened – say he cracked his head open during a Quidditch match, or if his parents got killed off by You-Know-Who, or something. Would she pat him on the shoulder too? Maybe she'd want to give him a comforting hug. Imagine the bliss.

"Looks like Prongs tuned into another station."

"What?" James started to look over at Remus, but Lily's presence was much too distracting.

She pulled out some scrolls and put her quill in her mouth while she unrolled the lengthy parchments. Her little mouth was so pretty, and when she took the quill back into her hand, the feathery strands stuck to her moist lips for a split second in the most unnerving way. Watching, he felt like his insides were completely unravelling.

"I heard Lily kissed Steve Parkin this afternoon."

"What?" A lead weight smashed into his belly as James whipped around to gape at Sirius, who exploded into laughter. Peter clapped his hands and joined in the laughing whole-heartedly, while Remus struggled to bite back his amusement, staring fixedly at the magazine he'd opened over his knee. They were having him on. The stupid gits.

Sirius fell backward onto the rug, howling and clutching his sides. "You totally bought that!"

"I did not."

"Yes you did! The look on your face was priceless."

"I was just surprised you'd said something so stupid. Lily would never go for a smarmy Hufflepuff loser like Parkin."

"I suppose," Remus quietly suggested, "that she'd prefer a smarmy Gryffindor loser like Potter, instead."

"I wish. Hey!" Wait a minute. Did Remus just call James Potter a smarmy loser? James pulled his wand from his back pocket and pointed it directly at Remus, who happened to be laughing his head off along with the others. "You want to say that again, Moony?" He thought a Sneezing Jinx would fit the situation nicely, and willed Remus to say it again.

"Thanks, but I don't think it would have the same effect."

Maybe James would jinx him anyway. Remus hadn't been hit by a friendly jinx in ages.

"Don't forget you owe him, Prongs. I know Moony is overdue for a good jinx, but he did put his snout on the line for you in Herbology last week."

"Thank you for remembering, Padfoot," Remus said. "My death at Lily's hands is sure to come soon enough, without James hurrying it along."

"I don't know," Peter said. "Lily may not kill you after all. She didn't look nearly so upset about Operation Herbology Partner as I'd expected her to."

James gave Remus a snarl for good measure before he tucked his wand back into his pocket. Peter was right that Lily hadn't flipped out in class – he'd been prepared for the worst. But still…"She wasn't exactly happy."

"She was pleased as pumpkin juice compared to Jane."

"Yeah," Sirius said, "Jane was panicking worse than Wormtail did that summer he found out his mum invited the Snapes over for dinner."

"What was the deal with her anyway?" James asked. "I always thought Jane was kind of on my side."

"Maybe she's afraid Lily's going to murder you with a screeching Mandrake half way through term," Remus said. James was afraid of that too.

"She's probably just jealous." Sirius took the cards out of Peter's hands and starting dealing a new game. "I bet she's been crushing on James or something."

"Do you really think that?"

"Sure. There are plenty of girls that would dig you if you'd just stop and look around. I don't know why you're so obsessed with Lily, anyway."

"I'm not obsessed."

Sirius widened his eyes in disbelief. "Prongs. Mate. You are the very definition of obsessed."

"I am not. I just think she's pretty."

Remus lost it at that, and covered his face with his magazine in a ridiculous attempt to hide his snickering.

"What's so funny?" James didn't see anything humorous about Lily's appearance.

"Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all." Remus put down his magazine and smiled as evenly as he could manage.

"Uh oh. You've got that look on your face," James said. "The one where you're planning something crazy."

He looked completely offended at that. "Padfoot's the one with the crazy plans. Mine are all brilliant."

Sirius rolled his eyes and played his first card.

"You know," Remus continued, "I was just thinking… Operation Lock In and Operation Herbology Partner both worked a lot better than I'd expected."

"True." Sirius chuckled and played another card. "I'm surprised that neither one of you has been Lily-hexed yet."

"So why don't we take it a step further?" Remus asked.

A small explosion popped in Peter's lap, and Sirius backed up to avoid the smoke. He looked back at Remus. "Do you want to kidnap her for a midnight romp in Hogsmeade or something?"

"That wouldn't be too bad of an idea. But I was thinking of starting with something more innocuous – like getting her to tutor James in Potions."

James balked. "I don't need a tutor! Why can't I tutor her instead?"

"What would you tutor Lily in?"

"Umm…" Nothing he cared to discuss outside of his private imagination.

"See?" Remus said. "It would be easier if you pretended to need help."

"I'm not going to pretend to be stupid." The object was to get Lily to like him, not think him an idiot.

"Moony's right that we do need a plan, though," Sirius told him. "We always work more efficiently with good operations. We need her to notice that you're not such a bad guy once she gets used to you."

"We could try to make her jealous by having James pick up a girlfriend," Peter suggested.

Groaning, James rubbed his scalp. "She'd probably throw a party," he said. Lily would be thrilled to get rid of him.

"Padfoot." Remus sat forward in his seat, rolling his magazine in his hands. "Maybe you could go out with one of her friends so that she has to spend more time with us, and therefore, with James."

"You go out with one of her friends."

"I'm asking Margie out."

"Well I've got my eye on somebody too."

"Who's that?"

"Camille," Sirius said. "The cute little fifth year that sat near us at lunch today."

"Didn't she fancy you last year?"

"I think so. She's pretty cool. We ran into her a couple of times in Godric's Hollow last summer." More like Sirius dragged James around town following her all summer. And they called James obsessed…

"How about this," Remus tried. "We make a bet with Lily – one that she can't possibly win – and the punishment is that she has to go out with Prongs."

"I don't want to be a punishment! I want her to go out with me because she wants to. Not because you clowns forced her into it."

"Then make some terribly noble sacrifice to look really selfless," Sirius said. "Girls lap up that sappy stuff."

"We could always kill off her family," Peter suggested, "and let James comfort her."

"Oh, sure. That would go over well." Shaking his head, James removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, slouching deeply into his seat.

"We could just make it look like they were in danger," Remus said, "and let James rescue them."

"Or rescue Lily." Sirius motioned in her direction. "The whole damsel in distress thing. Works every time."

"Will you just give it up already?"

"I don't know why you're so hung up on Lily anyway," Sirius told him. "A castle full of girls and you're stuck on the one who won't even talk to you."

"Lily talks to me. We're friends."

"Like she's friends with Sykes?" Sirius nodded towards Lily's table, and James popped his head up to take a look.

Edgar Sykes, a large seventh year, was sitting in the seat next to Lily. He leaned in close to her, and said something that made her giggle. What did Sykes think he was doing? He knew Lily was off limits!

James stood up and scratched his scalp, frowning, before he straightened his glasses.

"Where are you going, Prongs?" Sirius asked him.

"Where do you think I'm going? I'm going to tell Sykes to lay off my girl."

Remus shook his head. "I really doubt Lily would appreciate that."

But James didn't seem to hear those wise words. He strode off across the room, with an air of fierce determination. Sirius climbed up onto the sofa and watched the unfolding drama.

"Do you think he's really going to try take on our Quidditch Captain?" Peter asked.

"Nah," Sirius said. "Prongs will just make a fool of himself and get Lily all riled up."

Laughing, Remus repositioned his seat on the sofa so that he could watch. "This should make for an interesting weekend."

_Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you think!_


	4. Doubt

Chapter 4: Doubt 

_Tuesday, 21 September 1976_

"Is Remus _trying_ to make me kill him?" Lily dropped her bag on the rug and slumped down into the red sofa, rubbing her fingers over her temples.

Karen dropped down beside her and rummaged through Lily's bag. "I'm sure that's high on his priority list, Lily."

"That's what he acts like."

"What are you talking about?"

Lily groaned and looked up. "It's like he's trying to aggravate me on purpose."

"How's that?"

"For starters," she ticked off her first point on her fingers, "he missed another Prefect meeting."

"I thought Remus had to go visit his sick aunt."

"That family must breed like rabbits. You'd think he'd run out of relatives at the rate they get sick and die off."

Karen frowned. "That's not a nice thing to say, Lily. How would you feel if it was your family?" She pulled a small pink box out of the depths of Lily's bag and poked around inside of it, finally withdrawing a long nail file.

Lily wasn't about to be put off. "How about the way he's late for our rounds?"

"He's not the first boy to lose track of time when he's with a girl."

"That's another thing," Lily said in disgust. "He's going out with Margie Lufkin? Hasn't he any taste at all?"

"Apparently not." Karen didn't look up from her nails. "It seems he prefers a big chest over brains."

"Obviously. And then he helps James make a fool out of me every chance they get."

Karen did manage to look up at that. "You didn't look like a fool just because they tried to handcuff you to James," she insisted. "They made themselves look stupid. Especially when James went after them for it once he got loose."

Hugging a gold cushion to her chest, Lily scowled. "I was still embarrassed. And then what they did today takes the cake. Remus just proved, once again, he doesn't make any effort at all to control his wild animal friends."

Karen snorted. "How is anybody supposed to control James and Sirius?"

"How indeed?" James asked. He leaned his forearms on the back of the sofa and grinned. Lily had been talking about him with her friend. In James' mind, nothing could be more priceless.

"Didn't McGonagall ask something along those lines last Saturday?" Sirius said, ambling up beside James.

Both Lily and Karen looked at the boys who had snuck up behind them. Karen raised her brow, shook her head, and went back to her nails. Lily coloured deeply.

James looked to Sirius. "What is it that makes all of these women want to control us?"

"Animal magnetism," he answered, and winked at Lily. She looked away and rolled her eyes.

James scratched his scalp. "Do you think maybe we should just let them have their way with us for a while?" That would be an adventure worth having.

"Are you talking about McGonagall," Sirius asked, "or about these lovely Gryffindors? Because that definitely affects my answer."

"Ha!" James chuckled. "If McGonagall had her way, we'd be back on the train and headed home to rot."

"Nah." Sirius waved his observations away. "Deep down, she loves us. Really, really deep down."

"You may be right. McGonagall has never actually expelled us.

"Of course I'm right. Just like, really deep down, Lily here wants to snog your face off and bear your children."

"Shut-up." James kicked Sirius hard in the shins and jogged around the sofa, apologising. Lily had already begun to turn red again and James wasn't about to let Sirius ruin another perfectly good conversation with her. His stupid friends had already done enough damage for one week. James dropped to his knees on the rug. "I'm sorry Lily. Please don't be mad. He's a moron. I don't even know why I let him hang around with me."

"Because I'm your best friend, you idiot. Or I was until you kicked me!"

"Not if you're always going around trying to embarrass me." James shot Sirius a glare and turned his eyes back to Lily. She looked refreshingly amused.

"Are you guys over here for any particular reason?" Karen asked him.

Sharing a meaningful glance with Sirius, James shifted on his knees. He was dying to know how funny Lily thought Operation Repelling Gits had been. He shuffled his fingers through his hair. "Did you happen to notice anything unusual about Regulus and Mulcibur today?"

Her eyes narrowed and she leaned back in her seat. "I noticed that other people were carrying their things for them."

"I heard their classmates were taking notes for them in class," Karen added.

"And that a bunch of their assignments were excused," Lily told him, "being that they couldn't hold a quill and all."

Karen waved her file in the air. "At dinner," she said, "I saw the girls in their house were feeding them by hand. They looked quite delighted."

Sitting up straight, Lily looked closely into his face. "We also know that you guys did it, and that it was Remus' idea."

"We, um…er." This wasn't quite the reaction James had been hoping for. Under Lily's reproachful glare, he couldn't manage to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

Thankfully Sirius came to his rescue. "We were trying to come up with a way to get back at them for hexing you last week."

Rolling her eyes, Lily made a disgusted sound in her throat. "What I don't understand is why you felt the need to do it to Snape too. He never did anything to us."

"But he's Snivellus! He deserved it."

"Why?" she demanded.

"Because he's an evil grease ball." What better reason did she want?

"Luckily," Karen cut in, "Pomfrey is supposedly having the antidote owled over first thing in the morning and all of the thugs will be off the royal treatment."

James leaned back on his heels. None of this had gone at all as planned.

"Lily, sweetheart." Sirius propped his elbows on the sofa-back and leaned in to her ear. "If James couldn't use his hands for a whole week, would you feed him at mealtimes?"

"Only if I could flick the food at him from across the table."

He snickered and straightened up. "That would definitely be a sight I'd like to see."

"Oh no." Sirius was not allowed to plot against a fellow marauder. "Don't even think about it."

"Come on James. It would be fun!"

"No way. I will personally hex your guts out if you even try it."

"Not if you can't hold your wand!" Sirius was practically bouncing with excitement.

"What is wrong with you?" James wondered if Sirius had he gone completely mental. "Repelling Ointment is a punishment. It's not for fun!"

"Sirius," Karen said. "Lily can flick food at James' mouth anyway."

"I can?" Lily looked as startled as James felt.

"You see," Karen elaborated to Sirius, "Lily lost a little bet with me today, and she owes me a dare."

He lit up even brighter and leaned back down for the explanation. "Do tell."

"Lily didn't think Edgar Sykes was going to ask Jane out unless Jane made the first move. But he worked up his nerve and asked her for a walk around the lake this afternoon. So Lily has to do whatever dare I pick for her."

Sirius stuck out his hand for a high five from Karen. "I like you girls. That is too cool!"

Lifting her head from the cushion she'd buried it in, Lily sighed. "So you want me to throw food at James?"

"Close. At dinner tomorrow you have to feed him every bite of his food. I don't care how you do it, or how long it takes."

James wasn't sure what to make of the idea. Lily appeared to be in the same boat – he couldn't tell if she was disgusted, or trying to swallow a laugh.

"I can do it however I want?" she asked. Karen nodded quietly. "Thank you."

"No problem." Both of their faces erupted into grins. James was beginning to get nervous.

"Er…what if I don't want Lily to feed me?"

"Don't be an idiot James," Sirius told him. "Being fed by a beautiful woman is every wizard's dream."

Lily threw him an innocent look. "You don't think I would do anything to make you look foolish, do you James?"

"Of course he does," Sirius answered, snickering. "That's what makes it fun."

"Sirius." James' patience was wearing thinner than Professor Binns' hair. "Is it possible for you to shut your stupid mouth for just five minutes?"

"Only if you stop being an oversensitive git."

"I'm not sensitive!"

"Is it possible for you two to argue somewhere else?" Lily asked.

"We're not arguing. Just having a friendly exchange of aggravation."

"Here." Karen interrupted them. "Have you ever tried a Fire Ant Fresher?" She pulled a roll of sweets from her pocket and popped two sticky red discs from the end. "My aunt brought them back from her holiday in New Orleans. They're really good."

The boys took the sweets, but didn't put them in their mouths. "Er…thanks." After years of jokes on other students, James and Sirius both were highly suspicious of any food offered by another student – too many bad experiences.

"I'll take one," Lily said. She slipped it into her mouth and grinned.

If Lily could eat it, however…. Suspicions allayed, the boys popped the sweets into their mouths. Within seconds, their eyes began watering and they started breathing heavily through their mouths, looking at each other with shock. James was surprised there weren't actually flames spilling from his lips.

Lily leaned back against the armrest, cool as a cucumber, and Karen grinned wickedly. "Those Freshers aren't too hot for you guys, are they?" Karen asked politely. "I would have thought you big tough wizards could take it. Lily likes them."

Lily parted her lips to reveal the Fresher between her front teeth. She winked at James and he coughed. Not for all the world would he allow himself to look like a wimp in front of her, but at that moment he was sure his head was about to explode. "I, um…it's good. I just need, er…"

"A glass of water," Sirius finished. And they dashed up the dormitory stairs, spitting the sweets into their sweaty palms.

"Do you think I should have told them that Freshers only burn when you aren't biting down on them?"

Lily carefully took the Fresher out of her mouth to speak. "Not unless you wanted them to hang around all day. That was brilliant, by the way."

"Thanks. I'm just full of brilliant ideas today."

"Speaking of your ideas, did you really have to choose that particular dare? I mean, of all things, did you have to make me feed James Potter?"

"If you're thinking in a larger, cosmic sense, then I don't think it's really absolutely necessary to do anything at all – other than simply existing, of course."

"If you keep it up, you aren't likely to exist much longer," Lily told her. "I get enough of these boys trying to set me up with James without you helping them."

"Lily." Karen waved her file around again. "You constantly growl about how annoying James can be. I just handed you an opportunity to embarrass him in front of the whole school if you want. That's hardly trying to set you up with him."

Groaning, Lily slumped back into the sofa cushions. "Maybe I'll feed him Fire Ant Freshers for dinner," she said. "That should get it over with rather quickly."

_Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review!_


	5. Boast

Chapter 5: Boast 

_Tuesday, 30 November 1976_

Over two months have passed since Karen got the better of James and Sirius with her New Orleans Fire Ant Freshers. Two months filled with laughter, activity, and learning, oh yes, learning. They can not avoid it. They must plough forward, learning each day about themselves, each other and, of course, the ancient art of wizardry and witchcraft. To learn magic is, after all, the purpose for their residence at Hogwarts, in Gryffindor Tower, and the reason they are able, just now, to enjoy the comforts of the red sofa in the common room, before the warmth of the smallest fireplace, and out of the earshot of nosy classmates. They've come to learn magic.

And what, to a young man, could be more magical than a pretty girl? Very little, it seems.

"Did you know that Lily's favourite sweets are Peppermint Frogs?" James leaned back in the red sofa and crossed his ankles. "I never knew that. All along I've been getting her the chocolate ones."

"No wonder she never wanted to go out with you, Prongs. I can't believe it," Remus said dryly. "How ever did you find out?"

"Lily and I went to Honeydukes together last Saturday, and she told me while we were there."

Sirius looked up from the Potions homework he was scribbling hastily on the hearth. "You went together, huh? It looked more like you just followed her there."

"I didn't follow her. We were walking side by side. I even held the door for her and bought her a Peppermint Frog and some Jelly Slugs."

"How romantic." Sirius chuckled and went back to his scribbling.

"It was romantic," James said. "And then, before she ran off with Karen and Jane, we had a very nice conversation about the dangers of Puffskeins."

"Puffskeins?" That got everyone's attention.

James nodded. "I never noticed how creepy they are before."

"You know what I think, Prongs?" Sirius told him. "I think that if Lily told you that Quidditch was a loser sport, you would quit flying."

"What are you on about? Lily loves Quidditch. I hope she tries out for the team again next year."

"Assuming you make captain," Remus said, "I'd wager a year's worth of pocket money that she'll make the team, even if she falls off her broom."

"Wouldn't it be great?" James sighed, thinking of how those extra practices and strategy meetings would be twice as fun if Lily was right there with him.

"What would be really great is if you would help Pete with that Transfiguration essay this week," Remus told him. "Or do I have to do it again?"

"What essay?"

"The one for McGonagall. You know, on the side effects of extended transfiguration of mammals and all that."

"Prongs wasn't paying attention to McGonagall today," Sirius said. "He was too busy drooling on our desk, watching Lily suck on her quill."

Peter reached for his bag right away. "I've got some Sugar Quills if you want one. Strawberry and Lime. All you had to do was ask."

"I don't think that's the sort of sugar he's pining after."

"Shut-up, Padfoot."

"Me?" Sirius dropped his quill in the ink bottle. "You were the one doing all of that embarrassing moaning in class. Every time Evans stuck out her tongue, or put her quill in her mouth, there was Prongs going, 'mmm, Lily, yeah, baby.' It was horrific."

"I was not doing that."

"And I suppose there wasn't a big slobbery puddle all over the desk either."

"There wasn't!"

"It was so big I was swimming laps in it," Sirius said. "I had to get Camille to give me a Cleaning Charm in that cupboard after class."

"Uh huh." James rolled his eyes. "You two were discussing cleaning charms like I was drooling and moaning."

Sirius smoothed out his parchment and shrugged. "I guess there were some similarities."

"Thank you for not sharing."

"At least we have the decency to keep our 'discussions' private." He pointed his dripping quill at Remus. "Unlike Moony and his girl."

"Oh yeah." James grinned broadly and turned to the blushing boy next to him. "That was quite a show you two were putting on this morning near the portrait hole, by the way."

"That little girl of yours has got a tongue like a Puffskein, doesn't she?" Sirius said, winking enthusiastically.

Remus grunted and turned the page in his new book. "Don't talk about Margie."

"Now there's no talking about her?" Sirius sat up straight and looked around. "How many Margie Rules are we up to now?"

"Let's see…We can't look at her." James ticked them off on his fingers. "We can't touch her."

"We can't think about her," Sirius added. "We can't talk to her."

"We can't pass notes to her."

"And now we can't talk about her when she's not even around."

"We're up to six," James announced. "Can anybody spell over protective?"

"Moony." Sirius dipped his quill again. "Do you really think we're going to try to take your girl off your hands for you?"

"I think you'll try to embarrass her," Remus told them. "Actually, I think that, given enough time, you'll positively mortify her. And in the process you'll ruin everything for me. It's better if you just forget she's around."

"He's got amazing faith in his friends," Sirius said. He shook his head and went back to scribbling his homework.

James repositioned his hands behind his neck. "I don't blame him. You embarrass me about Lily all the time."

Sirius didn't look up. "Those rules aren't just for me, you know," he said.

"You won't follow any rules that I don't have to follow, so of course he made them for all of us."

"Do you really plan on following any of the Margie Rules?"

"No more than you follow the Lily Rules."

"I didn't know that there were Lily Rules." With a final flourish of his quill, Sirius capped his ink and rolled up his homework.

"Sure there are Lily Rules," James said. "Don't look at her, don't touch her, don't talk to her, don't think about her, and don't pass notes to her. I don't mind if you talk about her when she's not around, though, as long as it's respectful."

Sirius laughed. "So you don't plan on paying any attention to the Margie Rules."

"We're talking about Moony's first official girlfriend here. There's way too much potential for laughs."

Looking sideways at him, Remus flipped another page a little harder than necessary. "How very sensitive of you, Prongs."

Oh, please. "Don't pretend you didn't make a big joke out of my first girlfriend," James told him. "After I asked Emma out in fourth year, you guys didn't leave us alone until she dumped me. In fact, I believe it was you, Moony, that made her cry when you lobbed that wad of frog bogies into her hair."

Even Remus laughed at that memory. "I think that was the last time I threw frog bogies at anybody."

Peter snorted into his Pumpkin Pasty. "The fact that Emma nearly clawed your eyes out afterward might have had something to do with it."

"We used to love throwing frog bogies at people," Remus said. "It was so funny at the time."

"But so juvenile," Sirius said. "At least we've graduated to more mature forms of entertainment."

"Like stuffing frog bogies into Snivellus' ears?" Remus asked.

"He deserved it." James said. "See if he tries a Trip Jinx on me again."

"I wish Snivellus would take a page out of Regulus' book and run when he sees us," Sirius said.

"He'd have to admit defeat," James said. "And he's too stuck on himself to do that."

"Do you think anybody would miss Snivellus if I locked him in the Vanishing Cabinet for a few terms?" His homework tucked away, Sirius stretched out in his usual spot on the bearskin rug, enjoying the warmth of the hearth.

"You'd probably get an award for special services to the school," James said.

Peter looked up from the pile of sweets spread out on the floor in front of him. "I bet his mum would miss him." He had a point.

"We could let him out during the holidays," James suggested, "when we wouldn't have to see him. And the house elves could leave him some food now and then."

"Why would they want to do that?" Sirius asked.

James leaned back and pulled a new Chocolate Frog out of his pocket. "If Snape died," he explained, "he'd eventually start to rot. Can you imagine the stench?"

"Is it possible for him to stink worse than he already does?"

Ha! Good call. "You're probably right, Padfoot. Let him rot, then." He cracked open the box and let the Chocolate Frog hop into his open palm.

Remus flipped a page in the book that he had balanced on is knee, not looking up at his friends. "You can't keep somebody in the Vanishing Cabinet, you morons. It vanishes whatever you put in there."

"So much the better for Snivellus," James said.

"The ministry would throw you in Azkaban faster then you could spell Quidditch."

Sirius snickered from down on the bearskin rug. "Remember in first year when we tried to hide our Zonkos stuff in there? It was gone in a snap, and we never did get it back. Saved our hides from Filch, though."

"Ah, first-year memories," James said. "A fresh adventure around every gargoyle."

Remus grinned. "School got so much better once we knew how to get around."

"And it'll get even better as soon as we finish up the map," James added.

"Yeah." Remus finally looked up from his magazine. "I was looking that over last night. It's almost ready. I still can't believe how much of that you had finished over the summer. You guys must have spent your entire holiday on that thing."

"Pretty much."

Reaching over his head, Sirius snuck a squirming Jelly Slug from Peter's pile. "It was tricky keeping James' mum's nose out of it though. You'd think she didn't trust us or something."

James rolled his eyes. "You were the one who was stupid enough to tell her it was a school assignment. Like she would ever believe that." James Potter's mum knew better than that.

"She asked me what it was," Sirius said. "What was I supposed to say? That it was none of her business?"

"That's what I tell her."

"And that's why you're always grounded, too," he argued. "You think I wanted her sending me back to my family?"

"She wouldn't send you back. She hates your mum almost as much as you do." He snapped one of the legs off of his frog and popped it in his mouth.

"Not possible," Sirius muttered. "But I don't want to talk about her. Moony – let's have an official update on the Mission front."

"I'll second that," James said. "There's been a lot of activity this week. Did you record the firecracker attack yet?"

"I've got it." Remus pulled a notebook from his bag marked 'Mission Gryffindor Defence.'

The boys settled back to listen. "Start with Thursday," Sirius said, "when Snivellus hit Prongs with that jinx in front of Lily."

Remus nodded and smoothed out the correct page. "Thursday, 25 November 1976," he read. "10:00: From a stealth position, Arch Enemy attacked Prongs with a Trip Jinx in the west fourth floor corridor. Aggravating environmental factors included the close proximity of a certain red haired sixth-year Gryffindor. 10:15: Operation Frog Bogie Ears, impromptu retaliatory action, handled successfully. Note: The mystery of why Prongs happened to be carrying frog bogies in his pocket remains unsolved.

"Saturday, 27 November 1976. 16:00: In Hogsmeade, five sixth and seventh-year enemies (including Arch Enemy) were discovered taunting three sixth-year female Gryffindors. Enemies taunted one Gryffindor with foul names regarding her Muggle heritage. Defensive action taken immediately with mixed success. Casualties: Padfoot required a night in the Hospital Wing following an unusual Skin Nipping Curse.

"Monday, 29 November 1976. 12:35: Operation Flobberworm Soup a colossal success. Notes: Madame Pomfrey keeps enough Stomach Soothing Solution on hand for no more than twenty three doses at a time. Potions Professor required seven hours to brew additional solution. Bonus: Arch Enemy had to wait seven hours for the solution. Follow-Up Items: (1) Find a way to thank the house elves for their help and discretion regarding the special lunch. (2) Replace Professor Kettleburn's Flobberworms.

"Tuesday, 30 November 1976. 14:35: Arch Enemy attacked Prongs in Potions class through the insertion of a firecracker into said marauder's Slipping Solution. Damages quickly rectified by Professor with Traction Tonic. Note: Mixing firecrackers and Potions is an extremely stupid move. (Just like a Slytherin, isn't it?)

"Have I missed anything?" Remus scanned the others for their reactions.

"Just that we managed to keep the girls from getting hurt during the fight on Saturday," James said. "That was the main thing."

"And don't forget," Sirius added, "we found out that curse Snivellus hit me with was Dark magic."

Remus filled in the new information while Peter passed out handfuls of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. James swallowed a broccoli flavoured bean and loosened the collar of his shirt. He was sure that Lily was finally starting to appreciate everything he was doing for her. The Slytherins had been worse than ever about hassling her and the other Muggle-born students, and he and the Marauders had doubled their efforts to punish them for it. What girl doesn't like to see a guy stand up for her?

"I think Lily is starting to like me," he announced.

"You've been saying that ever since she plastered you with mashed potatoes two months ago," Sirius said. He didn't look convinced.

"I really mean it this time," James insisted.

"What makes you say that?" Sirius asked. "Was it the dirty looks she kept giving you in charms?"

"It was the way she forgave me for the Flobberworm thing after she saw Snivellus sabotaging my potion this afternoon."

"Lily saw that?"

"She told Professor Slughorn who did it, but he just laughed it off, and that got her all mad."

"Aww," Sirius cooed. "Lily wants to see justice for her little Prongs."

Remus snorted. "If Prongs got justice, he'd be expelled."

"Like you'd fare any better, Moony," James said. "Anyway. The point is that she came up and talked to me about it afterwards and isn't mad at me anymore. I think she's finally starting to see what a greasy scumbag Snivellus is."

Sirius gave a little cheer. "Now the next step," he said, "is to get her lusting after Prongs. Then we'll finally get some peace around here."

"Like that's going to happen anytime soon," Remus said.

"Hey now!" It wasn't that far fetched. Was it?

"I actually had a new idea this morning in History of Magic," Remus told them. He closed the record book and crammed it back into his bag. "You know how Binns kept going on about all those world leaders who had arranged marriages? Why don't we talk James' parents into hooking him up in an arranged marriage with Lily? Then it wouldn't matter if she liked him or not."

"Oh yeah." James rolled his eyes. "And then she'd just hate my guts forever. That's just brilliant, Moony."

"I'll have to side with Prongs on this one," Sirius said. "Prongs would never get any action at home if Lily hated him all the time."

James coloured a little, but Remus laughed. "When you think up something better," Remus said, "let me know. If I have to hear the Hogsmeade/Peppermint Frog story one more time my head is going to spin off."

He didn't think he'd really told it that many times…had he?

Crossing his legs in front of him, Sirius lit up with an idea. "Remember the other night when we caught some third years playing Spin the Bottle? What if we got Lily to play a game like that and rigged it so that she had to kiss Prongs every turn. After a few magical kisses she'll come back begging for more."

Remus frowned. "Even assuming Prongs was that good of a snog – which I really don't want to think about – Lily would never play Spin the Bottle. You'd have to put her under the Imperious Curse or something."

"We could get one of her friends to dare her to do it," Sirius argued.

"No we couldn't. They would never turn on her like that. And Lily would never knowingly snog Prongs."

"So get her to snog him without knowing it's him."

"Like how?" Remus looked sceptical.

"I don't know." Waving his arms around, Sirius floundered for an idea. "Dress him up in a costume."

"Okay. Sure." Remus started to chuckle. "A freak in a costume shows up and Lily is suddenly going to swoon over him."

"She might if everybody was in costume. I heard somebody talking about a masquerade they went to over the summer. Maybe we could get Dumbledore to have one of those at Hogwarts. Mystery James could sweep her off her feet."

"Sorry. Not going to happen." Remus was convinced.

"Which part?" Sirius asked him. "The masquerade or the sweeping?"

"Both. Dumbledore would never up and decide to have a Masquerade Ball – especially if it was our idea. What we really need to do is help Lily get inside his head so that she understands him. She might actually like him if she could figure him out."

"What do you mean get inside his head? Like have them switch bodies or something?"

Remus shuddered. "That would be extremely creepy."

"But he'd get to see her naked that way," Sirius reasoned.

"And we'd probably go to Azkaban. You can't do body switching type stuff without major Dark magic."

"Point taken."

"You know," Remus wagged a finger at Sirius. "Lily is a shoo-in for Head Girl next year. Maybe we can get Dumbledore to make Prongs Head Boy so they have to do more stuff together."

"Yeah! And we could lobby for the Head Students to get their own tower to sleep in – with a joint bath! Then the love magic could really happen. What do you think, Prongs? Prongs? Where'd he go?"

Peter pulled a fat, green lollipop from his mouth. "Prongs said he was going to bed and that when you guys were done being stupid he'd let you into the dorm."

"Oh that's nice," Sirius said. "We slave away over ideas to get him together with his dream girl and he doesn't even have the decency to hear us out."

"We're entirely under-appreciated."

"Think we should go jump on his bed?"

"Definitely."

_Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review!_


	6. Crush

Chapter 6: Crush 

_Saturday, 4 December 1976_

With a flying leap over the back of the sofa, James bounced onto the empty space next to Lily, jostling her so that the parchments in her lap went tumbling onto the bearskin rug. As she rushed to collect them, she dropped her book, too, and then upset her inkbottle. James was on his knees in an instant, trying to help where he could. All he succeeded in doing, however, was in smearing a great quantity of black ink across pages ninety six and ninety seven of Lily's Transfiguration book.

"I am so sorry, Lily."

She glared down at him and snatched her things back into her small lap, rearranging them over her crossed legs. She didn't look the least bit happy and she wasn't saying a word. This conversation was not shaping up the way he'd hoped. It was time for drastic action.

Still on his knees, James crawled closer to her and wrung his hands pathetically. "Please speak to me, Lily," he begged. "I know I'm hopelessly awkward and royal pain in the tail, but if you don't forgive me I'll go completely mental."

Her eyebrows raised and a smile twitched at her mouth. Over-dramatic self-humiliation was working better than he'd expected.

"Well, okay," he continued, "so I'm already mental. But please punish me and get it over with. If you don't I'll do something horrible. I'll…I'll stab myself with my wand!"

Lily looked at him expectantly, and James did the only thing left to do. He pulled his wand out of his back pocket, pointed it in at his chest, and drove it under his arm, clamping it tightly against the side of his ribs. Faking one's own death always promised to be a fun show, and James let loose a great performance for Lily, groaning, shouting, convulsing and generally making an idiot of himself. With a great final twitch, he fell still on the rug, waiting for Lily's reaction. When none came, he cracked an eye open to look at her.

She was staring fixedly at her lap, shaking softly, and battling a stubborn smile. James grinned and crawled back up to the sofa, brimming with satisfaction. He laid his cheek on her knee and put on what he hoped was a sincere looking pout. "Please say you'll forgive me. I'll take whatever punishment you pick."

Lily gave him that familiar look of hers that said she didn't quite buy it, but was amused nonetheless, and then pointed at her bag on the floor. "Open the side pocket and get out my pink box," she told him.

The pink box. The ever-mysterious, ever-present pink box. James never thought he would see that day that he, James Potter, would find out the contents of the pink box – and he didn't even have to ask! Lily had carried it in her bag for years, but he'd never been able to see what she used it to hide. She certainly shared it with Karen and Jane often enough, but she always seemed to tuck it out of sight whenever anybody else came along.

He drew it out of the pocket and examined the yellow flowers painted on the lid. Pretty and delicate – just like Lily. Lifting the tiny latch, James gaped at the contents. It was a messy wad of hair ribbons, make-up, sweets, and who knew what else. Was that a Cockroach Cluster? He was just getting to the more questionable items when Lily snatched the box out of his hand.

"I didn't tell you to open it," she said. She buried her hand in the centre – which appeared to be deeper than it looked – and rooted inside until her fingers emerged with a tiny black eraser, which she handed to James. Next she dropped the inky Transfiguration book into his arms and grinned. "You can clean the pages you messed up." With that, she snapped the pink box shut and handed it back down for him to put in her bag. He stowed it away and pulled himself up onto the sofa beside her.

Of all of the endless punishments she could have come up with for him, she'd picked something that he could do right next to her. James smirked with satisfaction. Lily Evans was definitely falling for the Potter charm.

The eraser she'd given him was old and rather too small for his hand, and the progress he made on the book was slow. So much the better. He would be happy to stay right there all day. She looked so pretty, curled up beside him, scribbling away and squinting her eyes in concentration. When she paused to read her essay, Lily lifted her white quill to her mouth and brushed the end lightly against her lips. She drew the feathery strands back and forth, sometimes catching them with her tongue and sucking delicately. If she kept that up, James was sure he would come undone. How was a wizard supposed to keep any measure of self control when she did that? Was she driving him insane on purpose? He wouldn't put it past her. James would make a complete fool of himself if she didn't stop.

He tried to focus, and cast around in his mind for something witty to say to her – something to distract himself. What was it he had planned to talk about when he first came up? Something about the last Quidditch practice.

"What kind of damage is done to the circulatory system of mammals after extended periods of transfiguration into non-mammal objects?" Lily asked.

"Huh?"

She looked up at him. "You did the extended transfiguration essay for McGonagall, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"So what did you put about the circulatory system?"

"You're still working on that?"

"Almost done."

"Wasn't that due yesterday?"

"It was," Lily said. "Did you find the information for this part in the text book, or did you have to reference something else?"

"I used Martin's Catalogue of Common Spell Damage. It's a staple in our dormitory."

"What did he say?"

He racked his brain for an intelligent answer. "If the transfiguration is done badly enough that it could damage the circulatory system, then the spell isn't likely to be powerful enough to last very long. Since it doesn't last long," he explained, "there isn't really time to do any damage. Risks are minimal."

"But what if there's damage anyway?"

"A Blood Replenishing Draught can be used as a precaution. Otherwise a Master should handle any repair work."

"Thanks."

"Do you really think McGonagall will take that late?"

"She gave me an extension."

"How come you always get away with that kind of stuff?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Getting extensions and all that," James said. "I saw you turn your last Astronomy charts in late the other day too."

"I have a lot of extra work to do as a Prefect, you know. I can't always be on the exact same timetable as everyone else."

"Remus is a Prefect, but he's not that busy, and he never gets extensions."

"Don't even get me started on Remus," Lily muttered. "I might have to kill him."

"You aren't still mad at him about missing that Prefect meeting, are you? He couldn't help it if his Aunt died."

"She died? Oh no, I thought she was just sick. That's so sad."

"Er…yeah she was really sick when he left, but then she died right away."

"That's too bad. But no, I'm not mad at him about that – even though I don't think he's made a Prefect meeting this term. It's really just that he never does anything to help me. He's too busy skiving off or getting frisky with Margie. I've never seen him so completely useless."

James opted not to comment. Whether she was right or not, it wasn't worth getting her aggravated. He focused on the little eraser.

After a while, the inked up pages were back to normal, but Lily was still absorbed in her essay and hadn't noticed. James reread the little note scrawled in the lower corner of the page. It was Lily's handwriting with green ink, and seemed to have been a classroom comment to one of her friends. '_He looked too hot to handle_,' she'd written. James would absolutely give everything he owned to find out who she'd been referring to.

Mindful to keep it quiet, James flipped to some previous pages, scanning for hand-written notes and erasing ink blotches along the way as a cover for his snooping. Mostly there were Transfiguration references that she'd scribbled in, but now and then he'd land on a private comment. '_Check your teeth_.' '_5pm – library_.' '_Do animagi get fleas? She looks like she needs a scratch bad._' Reading that last one, James bit his lip to stifle a laugh; the comment could only be about McGonagall. He could of course, answer her question about fleas, being an animagus himself. Unfortunately, he'd promised Sirius and Peter – fellow illegal animagi that they were – that he would never tell Lily about their secret ability until she'd seriously offered to bear his children. Sometimes he doubted that he would ever get to tell her.

It was when James turned to page forty five that he hit the jackpot. A whole conversation between Lily and Karen, and he was sure that it was all about himself.

'_He's staring again,' _Lily had written.

**How annoying.**

_It's cute._

**Then go out with him.**

_Maybe I will. _

**You wouldn't dare.**

_Love is in the air!_

**You would die first.**

_I knew you --_

The conversation stopped there – no doubt they'd drawn McGonagall's sharp eye. But the thrilling, glorious point was that Lily fancied him. Who else would be staring at her in Transfiguration but himself?

James flipped back to page ninety seven and strove to calm his jittering nerves. He was suddenly so excited he couldn't think straight. Maybe he was the one Lily thought 'looked too hot to handle.' That had to be it. Lily Evans was in love with him, right under his nose, and he'd been too distracted by her pretty lips to notice.

With a short whoop of joy, Lily capped her ink bottle and started rolling up her parchment. "All finished!"

"I'm finished with this too."

"Thanks." Lily held out her hand for the book, but James wasn't ready to hand it over.

"Hey." James swallowed his jittering excitement. "I was wondering if you want to come down to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow. I need to stock up at Honeydukes."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "The next Hogsmeade weekend isn't until February."

"Who needs a Hogsmeade weekend? There are other ways of getting there."

"How? The only way is the road that everyone can see. You aren't talking about going through the forest are you? Because that's really dangerous."

"The forest is alright, but I know a better way. I'll show it to you. We can go right after breakfast."

"I'm not going to Hogsmeade with you, James."

"But it'll be fun."

She started jamming her things back into her bag. "I know what you're trying to do, and I'm not going to fall for it."

"I'm just trying to have a fun weekend."

"You're trying to get me to have a date with you."

"It doesn't have to be a date. Can't it just be for fun?"

"Not with you it can't."

She was right of course, but he wasn't giving up so easily. "C'mon," James pleaded. "I thought you were starting to like me."

"You made it up, then, because I don't."

"But you wrote right here that you think I look hot." He held the book out for her to see, and she blushed deeply.

"James." Lily paused to rub her palms over her face. "That wasn't about you."

"It wasn't?"

"I can not believe you're really that conceited."

"Who's that supposed to be about then?"

"That's none of your business," she snapped.

"C'mon, Lily. You can tell me. I won't say anything to anybody. I promise." It would kill him to hear it, so he'd never get the chance to tell anyone.

"Look," Lily explained. "We were just making fun of somebody. It's not anything."

"Who were you joking about?" That would be easier to swallow.

"It was Remus, okay? After him and Margie got caught kissing before class. They were so flustered and we thought it was funny. We kept cracking on them."

James sat back and sighed. "We did too," he admitted. "He never has enough sense to find someplace private, and then he gets all upset when we see them. It was so funny when McGonagall was the one to say something."

"See?" She waved her hands at him. "You can't go reading my private notes and jumping to conclusions."

He was getting desperate. "What about this part back here where you put that you wanted to go out with me?"

"I didn't put that."

"It's right here." He flipped back to the page and pointed it out. "Karen said you should go out with me, and then you put that you would."

Lily groaned. "I was teasing Karen about little Billy – the first year. He fancies her, and he kept staring at her in the library."

She started to get up, reaching for her bag and avoiding looking at James. He caught her by the arm. "Wait. Can you just stay a minute?"

"I should go. It's almost lunch."

"I want to ask you…I need your help."

Lily lowered herself back into the seat, clutching her bag to her stomach, and eyed James suspiciously.

He rubbed his eye under his glasses and swallowed hard. "What's wrong with me?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"We always used to joke around, and write to each other during the holidays. We even did our homework together some. We were friends. Weren't we?"

Lily nodded and sucked in her lip.

"So then I, er…okay, as embarrassing as this is, I know it isn't any secret that I fancy you. A lot. But when I started to realise it myself, it just made sense to me that, you know, we were friends already, so why couldn't we just give it a shot? But then you didn't want to, and I know I made a complete moron of myself about it, but now it's become this running gag around school that you won't even give me the time of day, and I don't understand. I don't get it."

He stopped to take a deep breath. Lily wasn't even looking at him – her eyes were fixed on the buckle of her bag. She kept clicking it opened and closed, opened and closed.

"I don't ignore you."

"Just having an actual conversation with you anymore is a huge event for me. You don't give me the silent treatment, but you brush me off every chance that you get."

"I'm sorry." Click open, click closed.

"I just wish I knew what it is that drives you away. You don't really hate me do you?"

"I don't hate you," she whispered. Click open, click closed. "But a lot of times you disappoint me so much. You can be so nice to people – especially to me. But then you can act so mean sometimes. I know you can be better than that."

"Are you talking about Snape? Because he's the one who starts it."

"Don't give me that, James." Her voice rose menacingly. "You provoke him all the time. I'm not blind you know."

"It's an ongoing war. If Snape would just admit he's wrong and go away, the whole thing would be settled."

"Wrong about what? What are you always fighting about? I bet you can't even remember what started it."

"That's just it," he said. "It's not just one thing. It's what he is. It's the way he looks down on everybody who isn't a Muggle-hating, pure-blooded creep. It's the way he knows all kinds of Dark Magic, and he's just itching to use it. People like him are a threat to everyone."

"Don't you think you're exaggerating just a tiny bit?"

"I hate it when he looks at you, Lily. Like you're not even good enough for him to spit on. Can't you just feel the hatred boiling out of him? He looks like he would feed you to a hundred snakes and laugh while you died."

"He wouldn't do that."

"He would. And it makes me sick."

"Can't you just be the better man and walk away for once?

"I am the better man!" said James. "And he isn't a man at all!"

"Don't you dare hold that against him James Potter, or I'll never respect you again."

"What?" She wasn't making any sense to him at all.

"Snape can't help it if he's part vampire," she said. "It's got to be hard enough for him to live with that for the rest of his life without you hounding him for it."

James was dumbfounded. "He's not a vampire. He's just a coward."

"Of course he's a vampire," Lily argued. "At least partly. You'd notice it if you paid any attention to him. It probably runs in his family, or he could have gotten bit when he was a little kid. Whatever happened to him, he can't help being a dark creature and you shouldn't bully him around for it. It isn't right."

"I don't bully Snape about being a vampire. I just hate him because he's evil. How can you hold that against me?" He was sure he had her there.

"It's not just Snape, James. It's other people too. If you don't think somebody has the same values as you, or if they don't measure up to your standards, you act like you have no compassion for them at all. I've seen you do things that were so hurtful. How could I want to get closer to you after that? It breaks my heart."

James looked up at Lily and caught his breath. She was doing the unthinkable. She'd started to cry. When James tried to move a little closer to her, Lily tightened her grip on her bag and stood up.

"I need to go." And she did.

James stood to watch her hurry through the door to the girls' dormitory. The door slammed behind her and the sound echoed in his stomach, sickening him.

James dropped back onto the sofa, planted his feet on the rug and his elbows on his knees, and then buried his hands into his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. Lily always had a curveball to throw him, and this time he'd fouled up worse than ever. He'd made her cry.

He'd barely had time to process how deep a hole he'd dug when a thump beside him drew his attention. Remus had settled in his usual seat, an uncomfortable look on his face, and Peter and Sirius dropped onto the bearskin rug.

"Prongs!" Sirius said. "You totally missed it. I've never seen Snivellus so hopping mad!"

"It was so cool," Peter added. "Literally."

Sirius sat on his ankles and leaned forward towards James. "He and that Snyder girl were sitting on one of those big boulders by the lake, which is just stupid since it's so cold outside, but that's a pair of Slytherins for you. So anyway, me and Wormtail made these huge mud-balls and charmed them to rocket around at the git. They kept smashing into him and then bouncing away and going after him again. He started jumping around and screeching and then he finally fell into the lake! By the time he crawled out he was practically blue. It was hilarious!"

Remus didn't look very amused. James didn't feel like being amused either. "That's great, Padfoot."

"That's great? That's all you've got to say? What's wrong with you? You aren't getting all self-righteous like Moony is, are you?"

James groaned and slouched backwards, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Uh, oh." Sirius leaned back.

"You can say that again." Remus turned his attention to James. "He's got that 'rejected by Lily' look again."

"What did you do, Prongs?"

He dropped his hands to his lap and groaned. "I made her cry."

"Cry? You didn't hit her did you?"

"Of course I didn't hit her. I just told her that Snape wasn't a vampire. That he's just an evil git. And she got all mad."

"Lily thinks Snivellus is a vampire?"

"I've heard her say that," Remus told them. "She makes a convincing argument."

"She kept going on about how 'vampires have feelings too,' and how 'he can't help it if he's a dark creature. He probably got bit when he was little. That's no reason to bully him around.' As if! Girls can be so thick."

"Are you saying," Remus asked, "that Snape being a dark creature is a good reason to pick on him?"

"That's not what I mean. You, of all people, should know that."

"At least Lily has a good attitude about his condition."

"What?" James turned to Remus in disbelief. "Now you think he's a vampire?"

"I didn't say that. But Lily does, and I'm glad she doesn't hold it against him. We need more people like her."

James sighed. Of course Remus was right. Lily was amazing like that.

"If it'll cheer you up," Sirius offered, "we can break into the Hospital Wing and see if they've managed to thaw out Snivellus yet. We could sneak some ice mice into his dinner to get him really worked up."

Peter snickered, but James squeezed his eyes shut. That was exactly what Lily had been railing against. Picking on Snape. James felt all twisted up and smashed inside. He needed to be alone to think. To figure out what it was that made Lily stick up for Snape so much. He just didn't get it. James heaved himself to his feet and tromped off without a word.

The other boys exchanged worried glances.

"She must have really gotten to him this time," Remus said.

"We'll have to think of something to cheer him up." Sirius stretched out on the rug. "Get his mind off of Evans for a while. I'll think of something good. Just you wait."

_Author's Note: Lily and James finally got some time alone. Did you believe it? Two more chapters left with a quite a bit more action. Please let me know what you think!_


	7. Fall

Chapter 7: Fall 

_Friday, 12 December 1976_

Karen and Jane sat together on the red sofa, exchanging anxious glances. Jane crouched sideways, with her nose pressed against the back cushion, her head just high enough to see over the back and into the rest of the common room.

"Don't be so obvious," Karen said. "Just be patient."

"Patient?" Jane ducked her head a little lower, out of sight from behind. "You're the one ripping your favourite quill to pieces. You know you want to look, too."

"But I'm not looking, am I?" Karen dusted some bits of feather from her lap. "Do you want him to know we're all waiting to find out what he says?"

"He already knows she'll tell us. He isn't stupid." The portrait hole banged closed, and Jane took another peek. She sat straight up and turned to face the room more fully. "Well?" As Lily came around the sofa, Jane turned back around in her seat and watched her expectantly. "Did he think Sirius is going to be expelled?" Jane asked.

Lily squeezed in between her worried friends on the sofa. "James wouldn't say anything about it. But I could tell he's really upset. He just sort of grumbled at me and stalked off out of the room."

Letting out a low whistle, Karen shook her head. "Wow. If James wouldn't even talk to Lily, it must be worse than we thought."

"I'm really worried," Lily said. "Those guys get in trouble all the time, but I've never seen any of them do something bad enough to actually get sent home."

"I can't imagine facing my parents with a week's suspension." Jane shuddered and rubbed her arms. "And Sirius doesn't get along with his family at all. It must be horrible for him."

Karen nodded in agreement. "He really screwed up this time."

"The rumour mill is saying that he murdered someone," Jane said, "but I don't' see how that could be true."

"It's Snape that's been working that story around the castle," Karen reminded her, "so I don't believe a word of it."

Jane grabbed Lily's arm suddenly. "Remus is missing! I haven't seen him all week."

Lily shook her head. "He went to visit his third cousin twice removed – or somebody like that."

"How do you know?" Jane insisted. "Maybe that was just a good cover up since he goes away a lot."

"Sirius wouldn't do anything to hurt Remus. They're friends. That's like suggesting that Karen would murder me."

"I might try it if you steal my favourite shoes one more time." She was looking down at the smart, black shoes on Lily's feet.

"Oh right." Lily tucked her well clad feet under her body. "I'm sure Sirius attacked Remus in a fit of rage after Remus borrowed his best flats without asking."

"It must have had something to do with Snape, though," Jane said. "He's been prancing around looking happier than I've ever seen him. You'd think he single-handedly got Sirius in trouble."

"Maybe Sirius got a vampire bite," Lily suggested. "That would explain why he had to go home, and why James is so upset. Snape is probably glad Sirius can't make fun of him for it any more."

"Don't even start, Lily." Karen closed her eyes and rubbed a temple. "I don't want to hear any more vampire theories. Sirius was probably just messing around and went too far."

"Did you see Snape when he passed James on the way out of dinner tonight?" Jane asked. "He looked like he was about to explode."

"Anything that Sirius was involved in had to have included James," Karen said.

"Why didn't James get in trouble too, then?"

"Maybe he didn't get caught."

"That doesn't sound like him, though," Lily told them, shaking her head. "They usually go down together."

"And even when they're in trouble," Jane added, "they still come in crowing about whatever they did. The last two days he's just been moping around with Peter trailing at his heels."

"I'm sure that whatever happened, they didn't expect to get into such deep trouble," Karen said. "They obviously got in over their heads."

"Edgar says Sirius has been out of control for ages," Jane said. "He's hoping he gets back to school soon, though, or it'll put James off his game for the next match."

"Oh yeah." Lily rolled her eyes. "That's what we're all worrying about – the next Quidditch match."

Karen huffed and crossed her arms. "Well, there's no sense in letting Sirius' bad behaviour ruin our chances at the cup, is there?"

Lily ignored her. "I've never seen James so upset," she said. "It's almost like he doesn't know how to react, and that's really scary. He always knows exactly what to do. I'm worried about him."

Karen looked across at Jane and smirked. "How many times has she said that this week?"

"At least a dozen."

"What are you on about?" Suspicious, Lily glanced between her friends.

"It's just that all week," Karen explained, "you've been going 'Poor James,' 'James looks so upset,' I bet James is lonely without Sirius,' 'Poor poor James.' You're more worried about James than Sirius, and Sirius is the one in trouble."

"Whatever."

"I think you're starting to fancy him," Karen added. She smirked and settled back against the red cushions.

Lily gaped with indignation. "I…I am not! Jane, tell her I don't fancy him."

"I agree with Karen."

"Oh, please." Lily made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. "If I fancied James, then why would I turn him down when he asked for a date just last week."

"Because you're stubborn."

"It's not like you changed your mind overnight," Jane told her. "It started that night a while back when you fed him dinner. I think you two bonded while you were rubbing mashed potatoes into his hair. It was really cute."

Lily slouched down in her seat, scowling. "We can be friends without fancying each other," she insisted.

"Lily." Karen rapped her knuckles on Lily's head. "We're talking about James Potter here. The boy who has been in love with you for like, forever. It's impossible for you to be just friends."

"Look. Regardless of how James feels about me, I'm just friends with him. And I've told him that. I can't go around being mean to him just to prove to other people that I don't fancy him."

"But you don't have to talk about him constantly either," Jane said.

Lily's brow raised in astonishment. "You're one to talk! You never shut up about Edgar."

"True. But I also admit to fancying him." Jane grinned and batted her eyes.

Groaning, Lily covered her face with her hands and sank even lower into the sofa cushions. "Can we just have a new subject? I'm not discussing this anymore."

"Yes you are," Jane said, smiling. "But we could go upstairs and break out that Honeydukes' chocolate while we torture you."

"Ooh yeah!" Karen half jumped out of her seat. "I've still got some of that Strawberry Swirl."

"And Margie's in detention," Lily added, "so we'll have the dorm to ourselves."

"Honeydukes' Finest Strawberry Swirl Chocolate, empty dorm, gossip about Lily's love life. Not to mention there's a Celestina concert on the wireless. What are we still doing down here?" Jane asked.

With a flurry of skirts and giggling, and the sound of six feet dancing up the stairway, the girls disappeared.

After a while, as the crowds of students in the common room thinned out, James and Remus trailed in, rather later than students usually ought, and took their favourite spots on the red sofa. Remus lowered himself gingerly into the cushions and closed his eyes, releasing a tense breath.

"Are you sure you're ready to be back?" James asked.

"Yes. That was just a lot of flights of stairs to get here."

James felt sick to his stomach watching Remus in such pain. "Look, Moony. I'm really sorry for hurting you like I did. It was an accident."

"I know. You've told me about a hundred times. And it's still fine." He rubbed his eyes and leaned his head back onto a cushion. "I'd rather have to let Pomfrey realign my intestines than have to share the Shrieking Shack with Snape every month."

"I wish I could have kept him from seeing you, but he didn't get out of the tunnel until you were almost to the Whomping Willow. I barely even had time to transform." James had been more scared than he ever planned to admit.

"Please just drop it, Prongs. I know it wasn't your fault."

With his thumb, James traced an invisible circle over and over again on the gold cushion in his lap, sneaking short glances at Remus who still had his eyes closed. He couldn't handle the silence. "Snape's been making a pain of himself all week," he said. "I can hardly stand him. Not that I could stand him to begin with, mind you."

"He's going to tell," Remus said in a monotone voice. "I don't care what Dumbledore made him say. One of these days he's going to tell. And there won't be any taking it back."

He was right, too. "You want me to hit him with a Memory Charm?"

"Do you know how to do a Memory Charm?" One of Remus' eyes opened at that.

"I can learn."

"James." The eye closed again. "You can't go around doing unauthorised Memory Charms. Especially not after what just happened. You'd probably be arrested."

"That's not a serious offence, though, is it? What's a visit to the MLE Young Offenders Institute if it keeps his mouth shut?" James thought it would be totally worth it.

"No. Just…no." Remus waved a hand at him blindly. "Leave it alone. It's not like I'd be able to keep it a secret forever, anyway. It's enough that I got to come to school. Most werewolves don't even get a chance to do that."

"Don't say that so loud!" They never used the "W-word" in public. "Are you trying to out yourself in the middle of the common room?"

"What does it matter? I'm a werewolf. They'll all know by the end of the week anyway."

"Shut up! You don't know they'll find out. Maybe Dumbledore put some kind of a Confidentiality Jinx on Snape."

Remus opened both eyes and looked at James, curious. "A Confidentiality Jinx?"

"Yeah. You know, where if he tells anybody his eyeballs will explode or something."

"Dumbledore isn't going to put a spell like that on a student."

"Well he should."

"But he wouldn't."

"Maybe not." James went back to tracing circles on the cushion and wondered if it would it be possible to put a Confidentiality Jinx on Snape himself?

"So has there been a verdict on Sirius yet?" Remus asked.

"No." James glanced at the portrait hole – still no news. "This is the last day of his suspension, though, and he and his parents are back at the castle right now for a meeting with Dumbledore. We won't know if he'll be allowed back until they're done. I've got Wormtail standing lookout by Dumbledore's office."

Remus nodded softly. "Have there been a lot of questions about Sirius?"

"You could say that. Even Lily asked me about him tonight. I was kind of rude to her though."

"You were rude to Lily?" Remus lifted his head in surprise. "You really have had a rough week."

"I've been kicking myself for it." James sighed and picked at the corner of the cushion in his lap. "I'll have to find a way to make it up to her."

"Lily's been rude to you enough times that she owes you one," Remus told him.

"I'm just glad she didn't ask me about where you'd been all week. I might have bitten her head off."

"Why?"

"It's just that Snape has been spreading this rumour around that Sirius killed someone," he said, "and since you've been gone, people keep suggesting that it was you that got killed. It was making me crazy. All of the questions from people who thought they were so sly to figure it out. Especially since I was that one that nearly did kill you."

"Lily wouldn't believe that," Remus said. "She only likes crazy theories if she makes them up herself."

"I know." James smiled a little at the thought. "One of these days I'll have to find out her theory on what happened to Sirius."

"I bet she thinks Snape bit him and made him a vampire."

"Probably." It was sure to be something equally as wacky and cute.

The solid bang of the portrait hole closing behind someone drew James' glance. Peter had just entered the room, followed closely by Sirius, who grinned broadly at the sight of his friends. Sirius dropped down, cross-legged, onto the bearskin rug, while Peter stood, warming himself close to the fire. Sirius had pulled his black hair forward, partially covering one of his eyes. Even so, the dark shadow of a bruise was still apparent above his cheekbone.

"Good news," Sirius said, grinning. "I'm not expelled. I'm off Hogsmeade weekends for life, but that's not really anything since I generally make my own Hogsmeade trips anyway. I can't wait to see the look on Snivellus' face when he sees me back at Hogwarts. He's going to go completely nuts."

Remus pushed himself up off the sofa with a grunt. "That's great Sirius. I'm glad for you. Good night James, Peter." He stalked off away from the sofa and up the staircase to the dorm.

"What's with him?" Sirius asked.

"Pete," James said. "Go upstairs with Remus, will you? Stay out of his way, but just be sure he doesn't go and do something stupid." James was worried that he might try to run away, or even hurt himself. "Let me know if anything happens."

Peter sighed and dragged himself towards the dormitories. Poor little guy got all of the rotten jobs.

"Hey," James called after him. "There's a box of those new Coconut Crèmes in my wardrobe if you want some." Smiling in appreciation, Peter disappeared up the staircase.

Once Peter had gone, Sirius climbed up onto the red sofa next to James. "Moony seems a little cranky, but he looks like he's okay. I was really worried after I saw you'd gored him with your antlers."

"Pomfrey kept him longer than usual, but she fixed him up alright. It was worse once he came around. He actually tried to quit school and go home. Dumbledore wouldn't let him."

"Why would he quit school? It all worked out alright."

"Sirius." James couldn't believe he actually had to explain this. "Snape knows about Moony. Snape! Remus was in a right state when he found out what you'd done."

Sirius adjusted his legs uncomfortably. "Snape won't tell, though," he insisted. "He promised Dumbledore." He snickered a softly and added, "It'll kill him not being able to tell anybody."

"It that all you can think about? Severus Snape?"

"It's just funny, alright? Is it a crime to try to lighten the mood?" Pushing his hair out of his face, Sirius looked back up at James; a massive black eye was blooming across the side of his face. "This last week wasn't exactly a holiday at Grimmauld Place, you know."

"Your dad give you that shiner?"

Sirius' eyes darkened. He nodded and looked away, into the fire. "He said I'm not allowed to go to your place over the holidays this year. He just wants me at home so he can knock me around some more. The bastard."

Speaking of Sirius' parents, James' mind was jolted by a question he'd been stressing over all week. "What did Dumbledore tell your parents?" James asked. "He didn't tell them about Remus, did he?"

"He just told them I led Snape into the Forbidden Forest where I knew a dangerous creature was going to be," he explained, "and that Snape almost got killed. I don't know why they got so fussed about it." Sirius stretched out his legs and nestled into the sofa cushions. "I mean, it would have been a public service if he had died, honestly."

James couldn't believe his ears. Was this really his best friend talking? "Can you even hear yourself?" he asked.

Sirius frowned. "Don't tell me you're feeling sorry for the git. Oh, boohoo. Poor Snivellus got scared! It served him right for always following us around and putting his overly large nose where it doesn't belong."

Something painful snapped deep in James' gut. He wanted to run. He wanted to slap his friend upside the head. He wanted to throw up. Worst of all, he could hear his own swaggering attitude coming back to him in Sirius' words. Not in this circumstance, no, but at other times, with other circumstances, he'd said the same sorts of things himself. Who ever defined where it was supposed to stop? And Sirius still didn't get it.

"You put everybody at risk that night," James said. "Not only is Remus' secret found out by Snape, who'll probably tell the whole school when we least expect it. But when I was trying to get Snape out of the tunnel, there was a point where I didn't think I would get him out in time." James scratched his fingers roughly into his scalp. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to try to make a spilt second decision between transforming into Prongs in front of Snape – which would mean a sure a trip to Azkaban when he told – or not transforming and becoming a Werewolf myself? How could you put your friends in a position like that?"

Picking at a small stain on the armrest, Sirius kept his eyes averted. "I didn't expect you'd be down there," he muttered.

"What did you expect?" James asked. "You knew Moony would try to bite him. That's what you'd planned on. Do you know how sick that is? Remus would never have survived knowing he'd bit someone."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow and looked up. "Even Snape? C'mon."

James took a slow, deep breath and pushed the gold cushion from his lap, onto the floor. He leaned his elbows onto his knees and pressed his fingers into his eyes, under his glasses, straining to think of a way – any way – to convey what he needed Sirius to understand. "Just a little over a week ago," James said, "I was trying to explain to Lily why I hate Snape so much. Do you know what I told her?"

"That he's an evil slime ball?" Sirius suggested.

James glared at him. "I said it was because Snape would think it was fun to hurt her. That since she's so different from him – her values, her background – that he doesn't value her life at all. She didn't believe me that anybody could be capable of that kind of blatant indifference. But you just proved her wrong, didn't you?"

Sitting up straight, Sirius looked at James, his eyes filled with a mixture of dawning indignation. "I'm not like Snape."

He wasn't, really, but tonight… "You can be so cool," James told him. "I mean…you're my best friend, Padfoot. But sometimes you can turn around and be so nasty. It's like I don't even know you."

"Are we on the same scroll, here?" His anger visibly rising, Sirius leaned towards James aggressively. "This is Snape we're talking about. Severus Slytherin-Scum Snape. What am I supposed to do?"

"Can't you just be the bigger man for once?"

Sirius stood abruptly. "I am the bigger man."

"Act like it, then," James shouted.

"What exactly do you want me to do, James?" Sirius stepped back towards the hearth and opened his arms wide. "You're so smart – go ahead and spell it out for me."

"I don't know. Have some compassion maybe? With this whole mess, you just…" James groaned and rubbed his scalp again. He was completely drained. Scanning Sirius' face, James shook his head. "All I can say is I'm really disappointed in you. I thought you were better than this." What else was there to say?

James pushed himself to his feet, released a deep breath, and crossed the room for the dormitories. He couldn't deal with Sirius any more that night.

The door slammed shut behind him, echoing across the empty common room, reverberating over Sirius' shocked face. He swore loudly after James and kicked the fire poker that was propped up against the hearth, sending it banging and clattering half way across the room.

Groaning, Sirius sank down onto the bearskin rug before the waning fire. He watched the flames grow even dimmer while he absently worked his fingers through the soft, matted fur beneath him and grumbled under his breath. Otherwise, he barely moved until a pair of white, fuzzy slippers appeared on the rug beside him.

"Sirius?"

He jerked his head up at Lily's voice and stared at her, in her long, striped pyjamas, until she spoke again.

"When did you get back?" she asked.

"Oh, um, just a little while ago." Sirius adjusted his legs and turned to face her fully, and Lily gave a small yelp of surprise.

"What happened to your face?" She crouched down beside him. "That looks really painful! You should go up to Madame Pomfrey."

He made an effort to hide the bruises behind his hair, but she wouldn't let him and pushed his hair back to get a better look.

"Did you get in a fist fight?"

"Sort of. It's no big deal though. It doesn't hurt."

"Yes it does." Lily sat back on her heels and eyed him carefully. "You're just too macho to admit it."

He smirked a little and shrugged. "What are you doing down here anyway? It's late."

"It's also Friday night. We're having a little party upstairs and I came down to look for a pack of cards that Jane thinks she dropped down here."

"They weren't Exploding Snap cards were they? People are always nicking those."

"No," she said. "These would have had photos of wizards on the backs."

"What kind of wizards?"

"Naked Quidditch players."

Sirius looked up in shock. Lily giggled. "I'm only joking," she said. "It is Quidditch players – the Silver Arrows, actually – but they're all fully robed. Jane borrowed the pack from Edgar and he'll be disappointed if she loses it."

"Hey, I don't care if you girls look at naughty pictures. I can get you some of James in the shower if you want." He winked at her with his good eye, but Lily had started squealing in horror.

"Eww! No!" She flapped her hands around her head and made a horrible face. "Don't say things like that! I don't want to see naked pictures of anybody!"

"If you say so. But you're the one who brought it up in the first place."

"I didn't ask you to spy on James in the shower." Lily shuddered again. "That's disgusting."

"You're right. He'd probably kill me, especially since he's already ticked off at me right now as it is."

"What's wrong with him, anyway?" Her eyebrows knit in concern. "He looked mad earlier today, too. I was trying to talk to him but he was acting all weird."

Sirius grunted and scooted over the bearskin rug to lean against the foot of the sofa. Leaning his head back on the cushion, he stretched out his legs and looked at her expectant face. "Let's just say that I did something unbelievably stupid, and leave it at that."

"Is it about why you were suspended?"

He nodded and stared into the fire while Lily sidled up next to him against the sofa.

"No offence or anything," Lily said, "but you do stupid stuff all the time, and James never gets mad at you. Why would he get mad at you now?"

"It was supposed to be funny," he said softly. "I wanted to cheer him up, but somehow it just backfired. Everybody got hurt and I've alienated all my friends and I don't know what to do. James just left here after giving me this big long lecture about how I need to grow up and be the bigger man for once and a bunch of junk like that."

"James said that?" Lily asked. Her eyes were wide with surprise.

"According to him I'm a depraved maniac who needs to show more compassion to evil bastards. He should try living with folks like mine for a while and see how much patience he has left." Sirius drew up his legs and wrapped his arms around his knees. "He said he was disappointed in me," he whispered. "I just don't know what to do."

"Have you apologised to him?"

"I don't know. Sort of." He shrugged and dug his fingers into the rug. "He should know it already."

"Sometimes people just need to hear a plain old 'I'm sorry.'"

Sirius didn't' look convinced. "But words don't change anything."

"Sure they do," Lily insisted. "You know how Margie and I don't really get along very well? Way back in third year, when we were still friends, she took something of mine and when I threw a fit, she snuck it back to my drawer when nobody was looking. If she would have just admitted that she was wrong and apologised, I would have eventually gotten over it. But she never did. She was too proud. And things just kept escalating between us to where we can barely be in the same room together. And it's all over a stupid hairbrush. Part of me wishes we could go back and start over."

"Why don't you just forgive her and get on with it?"

"I already have. But it's hard to undo three years' worth of bitterness. I don't know where to start."

"Maybe with an apology?" Sirius grinned mischievously.

It was Lily's turn to shrug. "It's not that easy," she said.

"Now you know how I feel."

"Well?" Lily sat up straight and forced a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "So what if it's hard? Are we Gryffindors, or what?"

_Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Did you believe this version of the Whomping Willow incident? Please let me know what you think_.


	8. Hope

Chapter 8: Hope 

_Friday, 17 December 1976_

Something is definitely wrong in Gryffindor tower. The sixth year students – in both dormitories – have been acting oddly. The boys, usually so energetic and close knit, are barely speaking. Laughs have trickled to a bare minimum of politeness. The girls, on the other hand, seem to have announced an all-out war following an impossibly loud argument between Lily Evans and Margie Lufkin that drew the attention of even Professor McGonagall. Hostilities have never been more pronounced.

Perhaps the oddest puzzle, however, is happening right now, on Friday, the last day before students leave Hogwarts for the Christmas holiday. Lily Evans has just chucked her bag onto the bearskin rug and plopped down onto the red sofa – right next to James Potter.

She's there now, having drawn her tiny, grey toad out of her pocket and perched him on her knee. He croaks happily and she massages the top of his warty head with her index finger. She's been sitting there for a few minutes, but hasn't said a word – just played with her toad and chewed on her lip – with James staring at her in surprise.

"You've been avoiding me all week" she says, not taking her eyes off of the toad.

James blinks, scratches his scalp, sits up a little straighter. "Er…are you talking to me, or to that toad?"

"I've wanted to talk to you, but you've been hard to find." Lily looks up at James at last.

James knew he'd made himself scarce. It was hard enough dealing with his ruptured friendship with Sirius. He just couldn't handle that horrible feeling of total inadequacy that engulfed him whenever he looked at Lily. She'd seen right through him all along, after all, and she was right. He was a depraved jerk with no compassion towards others. He took advantage of people that were weaker than him. For all the way he'd acted his whole life, he might as well have been right there with Sirius, leading Snape to Remus. Lily hated him for it. He hated himself for it. And he certainly didn't deserve her. He'd never been so ashamed, and as a result, because he just didn't know what else to do… "I've been hiding from you."

"From me?" Lily's eyes popped with surprise. "Is it because of what I said to you last weekend? Because that's one of the things I was trying to talk to you about," she hastened to explain. "I wanted to apologise for being so mean."

"You weren't mean. Just honest." And right.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings." Lily's eyes were glued back to her toad. "Are you mad at me?" she whispered.

"I'm not mad at you." James scratched his hair and looked away as well. "I've just had a lot on my mind this week."

She nodded. "Sirius told me."

It felt like a Bludger slammed into James' stomach. Things had been ugly between them, sure, but Sirius wouldn't have started going around telling what happened – about Moony and Prongs and the Whomping Willow – would he? "He told you?"

"He said he did something that hurt you. That he didn't know how to make things right. You're letting him try, aren't you?"

James breathed an inward sigh of relief. "We're working on it. It's hard." Harder than anything.

"I've been worried about you."

James frowned and rubbed his ear. He couldn't have heard that right.

Lily grinned a little at his obvious surprise, but fought it back with a serious expression. "I can just tell that you've been unhappy," she explained.

Had Lily Evans really been paying that much attention to him? James had been so wrapped up in his problems that he'd made every effort to ignore her all week. And what had she done? She'd turned around and worried about him. And now all he could do was stare at her like a complete moron.

At least Lily wasn't at a loss for words. "I'm not trying to make you talk about it or anything. It's obviously some big secret and I don't want to pry. I just wanted you to know that I um…cared and that if you… you know, wanted to talk about it with somebody that wasn't as close to the fire, so to speak, then I'm around. That's all."

"Thanks," James told her. And he meant it, too. "I appreciate that." He was over the moon about it, to be more accurate, but James was desperate to retain his cool. "I think everyone just needs to simmer down and clear their head. The holiday should be a good break."

It was thrilling to have such an intimate moment with Lily – she actually cared about him! James wanted to laugh and run around in circles and give her a great big hug all at once. He settled for smiling shyly at her, and then smiled even more when she grinned back.

He was happier than he'd been all week, but the ensuing silence was uncomfortable. It was times like this that made James appreciate girls' talent for small talk.

"You've met my toad, haven't you?" Lily asked.

James peered down at the toad. Of course he knew that Lily owned a toad, which he found distinctly amusing, but he'd never really taken a good look at it before. It was tiny enough to fit in the palm of Lily's small hand, but it also had to be one of the ugliest toads he'd ever seen, all grey with lumpy warts all over and great bulging eyes.

"I've seen him around," James told her, "but I don't think we've been officially introduced."

"How rude of me!" she said. "James, this is Mr. Ribbits. Mr. Ribbits, meet James Potter."

Mr. Ribbits grunted and eyed James, who got the distinct impression that the toad would like to tell him to bug off.

"I think Mr. Ribbits likes you," Lily added in a hushed voice.

James wanted to laugh, but settled for a broad smile. "Toads aren't the kind of pets that girls usually go for, are they?" he asked.

"Who ever said I was usual?"

"Not me." He was sure about that. "Have you had that toad a long time?" he asked.

"Since I was eleven." She stroked Mr. Ribbits' warty back much like she would a soft kitten. "When I left for Hogwarts, Mum and Dad forced my sister to pick out a going away gift for me. She saw that toads were on the list of what kinds of pets were allowed, and so she got this one for me. She expected I would think he was nasty."

"But you didn't?"

"Not at all. He's been a really good pet. Very magical. Not real cuddly, of course, but he's tidier than a cat and quite smart."

"How do you tell if a toad is smart?" James expected this to be good.

"He won't go near Margie, for one." Lily smirked and patted Mr. Ribbits on the head. "But it's more than that. He understands what's going on. He's useful too. He'll retrieve small objects from under the bed for me."

"Really?"

"Watch," she said. "Mr. Ribbits, if you'll get my quill out of my bag, I'll take you down to the greenhouses for a romp in the water lilies after dinner tonight."

Mr. Ribbits gave a friendly croak and hopped from Lily's lap to the bearskin rug, and then right into her open bag on the floor. A moment later he hopped back out and onto her knee, feathery quill held firmly in his tight mouth. With another croak, he dropped it onto her skirt."

James was undeniably impressed.

"He's just as smart as any owl," Lily added. "I've even convinced him to pass notes to people in class for me."

"Convince him? You mean you've got to talk him into it?"

"He doesn't like to feel undervalued or taken advantage of."

"I, um…I don't blame him."

Lily sighed. "I wish I could know what he was thinking sometimes."

"Ah, yes." James wriggled his eyebrows and leaned in towards her. "The mysterious workings of a toad's mind. They're almost as mysterious as girls. Who knows what dark and dangerous secrets they hide behind those innocent eyes?"

"Oh please." Lily rolled her eyes and pushed him away. "Like Mr. Ribbits would have any secrets to hide."

"You never know. He might be a blood-sucking vampire toad."

"A vampire? Are you making fun of me over what I told you about Snape?"

"Yep." Sometimes he just couldn't resist.

"Then you'll have to try something else," Lily said, "because that's an idea I've already considered, and Mr. Ribbits is, in fact, not a vampire." She crossed her arms matter-of-factly.

"You've actually spent time thinking about the possibility that your pet toad could be a vampire?"

"Why not? At a magical place like Hogwarts, anything is possible."

"But still… A vampire toad?"

"Can you honestly tell me you've never considered an idea that other people would find preposterous?"

The tone in Lily's voice told James that it was time to change directions on the double. "Most people would say that I do more than consider them," he said. "That's why I end up in so many detentions." Lily giggled, and James' grin got even broader. "Besides," he added, "I like the way you think up all kinds of unusual ideas. It's cute."

Her eyes zeroed back in on Mr. Ribbits. "I'm not trying to be cute."

"You just can't help it." James shifted himself a little closer to her so that he was sitting sideways, his elbow propped up on the back of the sofa by her shoulder, and his hand buried in his hair. If this wasn't the time to turn on the charm, then call James Potter a Billywig – or at least an over-encouraged teenager. "You know, Lily," he said, "we've had sort of a little tradition going for the last few years."

"What's that?"

"Well, at the end of every term, it's been pretty standard for me to ask you out – a parting effort, if you will."

Lily glanced up at him and her cheeks started to turn pink. "Are you sure this is a tradition that you want to keep on with?" she asked.

"No. I definitely don't want to keep it up," James told her. "But I will for as long as I need to."

"You don't need to."

"Sure I do." He leaned in near her ear, as though he was about to share a secret. His hormones took off like wildfire at the smell of her hair. "If I didn't screw up my nerve to tell you how you're the prettiest girl I know, how I think about you all the time, and ask 'would you please go out with me?', only to get my heart trampled into the mud, then I wouldn't be able to sulk properly through the holidays and my parents would never recognise me. They'd refuse to let me in the house."

"I'll send you home with a letter of certification." She didn't push him away.

"I'd rather you send me home with a 'yes'. I'd be a very happy wizard."

"If I did that, then your parents still wouldn't recognise you, and you'd spend your holiday on the street. As it's winter, you'd probably freeze to death."

James backed his head up a little and grinned at her. "I wouldn't mind. I'd die happy. Would you cry at my funeral?"

"You're such a dork." She was fighting a smile, and James' sprits flew even higher.

"That's a good thing, right? I mean, you've got a smile on your face, so it's got to be a good thing." James decided to go for it – what could it hurt? "Does that mean you'll consider being my girlfriend?"

"No."

The joy started fizzing out of his inflated spirit. Why did he even ask?

"But," Lily added, "I wouldn't mind if you wanted to try writing to me again. I promise I wouldn't ignore you this time."

It took about five seconds for her statement to sink into his thick brain, before James suddenly filled up with so much exhilaration that he felt like he was coming apart at the seams. "My owl could wait around for you if you wanted to send anything back," he said. "You'd just have to tell him whether or not you wanted him to stay, or if he should come back in a few days or something. He's really smart." James clamped his mouth shut to stifle his rambling delight.

He watched her for a few moments, not speaking, just enjoying the tremendous sensation of knowing that Lily, of her own free will, had invited him to contact her over the Christmas holiday. She had been worried about his well being and wanted to be in touch with him. He could just grab her and kiss her right there – but he decided not to press his luck.

Lily, who still hadn't looked up at him, was petting her toad and appeared completely calm, save the pinkness of her cheeks. "Bet your owl's not as smart as Mr. Ribbits," she told him.

"You're right. Mr. Ribbits is an absolute genius. He's got you completely enamoured with him, and he's even lined up a date in the greenhouses for tonight." James sighed, relishing Lily's amused expression. "I wish I knew how he's managed it," he added. "I could use some pointers."

Lily rolled her eyes and grinned, her ear turning pink as well. "Do you really think you'll ever convince me to go out with you?" she asked.

James shrugged and leaned back to look at her, propping an ankle over his knee. "You never know," he told her. "This is Hogwarts, after all. If toads could be vampires…well then… anything is possible."

_THE END_

_Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this little story. I certainly had a lot of fun writing it. Please let me know what you think._


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